20230526 Raven Newsletter

May 26, 2023

I type with fingers that are at the bargaining stage of grief. This weekend, Everton stagger in to play what could be their last Premier League game of my lifetime. 1951. That was the last year Everton were relegated. We have only been out of the top flight for four seasons since being founded in 1888. I have never experienced that before. Make no mistake. We have come close. Very close. But on Battle Cry Eve, I feel utterly bereft. In a state of pre-mourning. We relegated Bournemouth on the last day of the season three years ago. Custom dictates they must take the field on Sunday bellowing, “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!”

This week has been an agony of waiting as we prepare to meet our fate. A sleepless ache. Trapped in this footballing purgatory, the head goes to a lot of odd places. I have spent a lot of time asking myself, what is an Everton? What am I actually spending my time supporting? An idea? A set of memories connected to family, friends, and community? A sense-memory of settling in to watch the familiar in beautiful, old Goodison Park with its singular smell of spilled beer, chips, cigarette smoke and police horse turd? But there is another Everton that is totally outside of our control. The board level. That vortex of present-day self-sabotage, that we as fans have absolutely no ability to impact. One that has led us, one ill-informed decision at a time, inextricably towards the Bad Place.

Can I see a positive outcome on Sunday? I made a brief appearance on that great fan channel ToffeeTV yesterday, and fleetingly allowed myself to dream of a joyous, relieved post-game pitch invasion in which Tim Howard is passed around overhead by fans as if he was a large Dog of War. Or, Sean Dyche dancing victoriously by an empty Director’s Box, being stripped down to his undies by frenzied Blues who discover he really does dress like his Stone Cold wrestling meme. But I don’t feel it in my heart, soul or bones. I am braced for darkness.

To Leeds and Leicester fans – I know you share this agony of the doomed as we face up Sunday’s Coin Toss of Death. A coin flipped by Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men, as he readies his cattle gun. There is nothing like this in the United States. Here, the worst teams in sports get the No. 1 draft pick and an easy schedule. In England, all they receive is a swift kick in the down belows before being dispatched through the moon door into the upside down. Whatever happens, Everton, Leeds and Leicester know their teams have been the Footballing equivalent of Twitter Spaces or Roman Roy. GFOP Jon Sheppard, a Leeds fan from Lexington, KY, sent me a great Raven suggesting we all channel the spirit of Lieutenant Speirs advice to Private Blithe in Band of Brothers: "The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function.”

PS. Singular joy in my life: We travel to Burlington, VT next Thursday night to do a live show with the incredible owners and fans of Vermont Green FC. One of the joys of my life has been watching this nation fall in love with football, and create thoughtful, brilliant manifestations of the game from sea to shining sea. One of my goals in the run up to World Cup 2026 is to travel as much as we can and cast a spotlight on these stories of which Vermont Green are a shining example. Let me know where we should eat, see, and experience while we are there. We want to support local businesses as much as we can. 🇺🇸

2. MiB Awards. Who will win the Wrestling Belt D’Or? Tune in Sunday on Men In Blazers Show Finale on Peacock and find out 🏆🏆🤼

We are elated this weekend to announce the winners of our first “American Football Awards,” to be handed out to American Premier League fans’ favorite footballer, and their favorite American footballer. We were elated by the sheer number of you who voted in this inaugural year and we’re excited to announce the winners this Sunday in the Men In Blazers Season Nine Finale on Peacock in which I break down the nominees with Rebecca Lowe and Robbie Earle, and hand out the Wrestling Belt D’Ors with the winners.

I am so proud of this new project. Football awards are an expression of the culmination of a season's journey. That journey is different depending on your perspective -- the place and reality of where you watch. MiB Network has been a manifestation of the surging growth in football fandom across the United States over the last decade -- the sense of shared discovery, passion, and connectivity. These awards (and the Women's Awards which will be handed out later this year, post-World Cup) are a reflection of that -- the unique perspective of American football fans who have fallen head over heels in love with this game.

3. To the Football (All Networks still TBA)

i. Everton vs. Bournemouth, Big Game Preview Presented by Bud Light (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

Is the human emotional spectrum sufficient to take in the gruesome sight of Sean Dyche, Sam Allardyce, and Dean Smith mud-wrestling to the death? We will find out on Sunday. Everton hold a putative advantage. Win and they survive. Yet, they have lost their last three games on the spin at Goodison Park and have not won at home since beating Brentford on March 11. Another dark statistic: Everton have also only scored more than one goal at home once this season, in the 3-0 victory over Crystal Palace back in October. You want more gloom: The Fighting Cherries blasted seven goals against us in back-to-back home victories – one in the league, the other in the Carabao. And Dominic Calvert-Lewin is out with a strain to his handsomeness. We have no full-backs either. What do I take hope from? The fans. The fans. The fans. They are what give this team the fight. This Everton have scored three equalizers in the 89th minute or later since the beginning of April. I pray for cause to have reason to call my fifth child Yerrald in nine months time. Also, Bournemouth PROPER HATE LEEDS: Goes back to the final day of the 1990 season. Bank holiday mayhem – when Leeds were promoted and Bournemouth was trashed. For more: This BBC documentary that aired a week after the violence: Leeds United Invade Bournemouth: A Weekend Of Violence.

ii. Leeds vs. “Lads, It’s Tottenham” (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

Elland Road can be one of the most fantastically feral environments in football. When you think of all of the teams in World Football, close your eyes and then spit out the first team that comes to mind when asked “Which club folds quickest under pressure?”, tell me the words “Ryan Mason’s Tottenham” did not seep into your frontal lobe. Spurs, who have not won away from home since January and have not experienced the thrill of Premier League victory outside London since the end of October. Spurs, who have leaked 20 goals in their last seven games.

Leeds fans, brace yourselves for the Retina-Searing sight of a Dancing Big Sam Allardyce – the man who proclaimed himself Pep and Arteta’s equal, unleashing the prance of a man who is walking away with a reported $3.5M survival bonus after four games.

More: Feyenoord’s coach Arne Slot becomes the latest to turn Tottenham job down adding to the circus like chaos swamping the club. Celtic’s Ange Postecoglou now seen as the primary candidate.

iii. Leicester vs. West Ham (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

David Moyes. Don’t do us like this. Please don’t field a weakened team with an eye to the looming Europa Conference League final. Remember where you came from. You are our only hope. Of the three teams in this scrap for life, Leicester fans are most shell shocked that their team is there. A mere seven years after their fairytale title and two seasons on from that glorious FA Cup. They will draw strength from a massive point gained at Newcastle on Monday night. James Maddison is undoubtedly the most skillful player left in the relegation mire. Will he go out a hero in what should be his last game for the Foxes? Somehow, somewhere, Brendan Rodgers will open up a bottle of chilled Yellow Tail Shiraz, nod knowingly at the television, and tell himself, he saved Leicester City.

WHOM DO I THINK WILL DO IT? 😲🤯😭

If I was a betting man, I would believe Leicester will be the last man standing come Sunday afternoon.

iv. Chelsea vs. Newcastle (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

PIF powered Saudi Toon locked up a crucial champions league place in this first full Eddie Howe season. As dire as their ownership may be — and it is dire – on the field, the job Eddie Howe has done, has to be commended. A naively attacking coach in his Bournemouth days has reinvented himself as a defensively robust leader. A sabbatical spent learning from Diego Simeone at Atlético Madrid has upped his streetwise acumen. Proof that everyone can change.

Frank Lampard has only won two games in his last 24 matches as a manager in the Premier League. It has been hard to watch a gent flounder like this. We forget these managers are human. This kind of public meltdown can break a human being as we saw with Graham Potter towards the end. Chelsea need to create a sense of foundational order for next season. The good news: Boehly is beginning to realize he is the problem. Pochettino coming.

Also: Pulisic farewell? Sad, quiet ending amidst the chaos. We forget, but our gent is just 24. So much more still to come.

v. Arsenal vs. Wolves (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

Lovely Raven from Arsenal fan Juan Pizzaro who wrote: “As a football supporter, I’ve experienced disappointment from a tender age, but with time I’ve come to rationalizing defeats and overall lack of success of my favorite teams in national and international competitions as some form of cosmic justice (karma?). My question/hypothesis is that Arsenal's inability to win matches in the last part of the campaign is a direct result of events outside of the control of Arteta and his players. For example, the balance of the universe would have been broken if someone like Piers Morgan was rewarded with a coronation and a championship in the same year?”

More: Big and lovely news. Saka commits to a new contract. Great days to come I hope, Gunners.

vi. Aston Villa vs. Brighton (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

Do Aston Villa want to lock up seventh and Thursday-Sunday it in the Europa Conference League, or avoid it and focus on the outside push for Top Four next season?

Brighton have just secured a Europa League place and will play continental football for the first time in their 123-year history. I admire them so much. Roberto De Zerbi is my Manager of the Year and has deservedly received praise from Pep Guardiola amongst others this week. I had the joy of interviewing De Zerbi this week – the video will be out on our YouTube Saturday. He was intense. Focused and driven. I want to share one story which I think is the measure of the man. I asked him what emotions he experienced hugging his assistant coaches after Brighton secured a European place. He immediately listed a string of failures in his career which went through his mind in his greatest moment of glory. Failures that included his third-tier Italian side Foggia listing in the promotion playoffs against Pisa. A reminder that every Glory in your life is paved by a road of lessons learned through failure along the way.

vii. Brentford vs. Manchester City (Sunday 11.30 AM ET)

Come for the Haaland hattrick. Stick around for the Alvarez hattrick.

4. The Championship Playoff: Coventry City vs. Luton Town (Saturday, 11.45 AM ET, ESPN+)

This magnificent spectacle said to be worth up to $385M for the winner, could not be more magical due to the two foes lumbering up to each other. Both fantastic stories in their own right, and unexpected guests in equal measure. Luton Town face up to Coventry City. The true wonder of this clash lies in the fact that five years ago Coventry were facing up to Luton in League Two, the fourth tier, and on Saturday, the two clubs will meet at Wembley to decide which team will become the first to go from the top flight down to the fourth tier and back up.

For more: We released a Championship Playoff Final Preview Pod Special, Presented by ESPN+ with none other than that ageless wonder Tim Ream. A warrior who has stepped unto that playoff final breach twice and each time emerged victorious. In addition to Tim’s insight into what makes the game so singular and special, we went deep on Coventry and Luton Town. It kicks off Saturday at 11:45 AM ET on ESPN+. Watch the interview with Tim HERE. And listen to the entire Podcast HERE. And don’t forget you can sign up for ESPN+ just by going to ESPNPlus.com/GFOP. They also have you covered for Sunday’s League Two playoff final Carlisle vs. Stockport (8:30 a.m. ET) and Monday’s League One battle between Barnsley and Sheffield Wednesday (10 a.m. ET).

More on Luton: The Hatters’ cramped stadium – like Luton the town – attracts ridicule but Saturday’s playoff final is a huge sliding doors moment.

More on Coventry: Mark Robins rouses reconstructed Coventry to brink of Premier League.

5. We have a Bundesliga Title Race. Everything is in DORTMUND’s Hands. What could go wrong now? 🇩🇪🏆

Borussia Dortmund are one win away from clinching the Bundesliga title. If Dortmund can drop ninth place Mainz on Saturday (9.30 AM ET, ESPN+) they'll win their first title since 2011/12 and end Bayern's 10-season streak as champion. Rivals Schalke are set to be relegated too. Perfect day for Gio and his teammates.

6. MiB HQ The Ultramarathon with Twice the Runner’s Nipple

What a week here at MiB HQ as we prepare for the final weekend of domestic club football in Britain for the season.

As we mentioned above, Sunday we release the Season Nine Finale of the Men in Blazers Television Show on Peacock TV. Join Rog, Rebecca and Robbie (Earle) as they present our first annual Men in Blazers American Football Awards. Also dropping Sunday, a bonus episode. Rog’s sit down interview with UEFA President Aleksander Čeferin in which they talk possible VAR changes, a potential salary cap and if UEFA Champions League football could soon come to America. Watch both of these, along with every episode of The Men in Blazers Show from the last two seasons, HERE.

Talking of sagacious American heroes, Tuesday we released the second episode of Becky Sauerbrunn: Road to the Cup, a pod which chronicles the People’s Captain’s journey toward the World Cup and this team’s attempt to go back-to-back-to-back. As good as Becky is at football, she may be an even better Podcaster. These conversations are such a joy and it is such a privilege to work with her. In this episode: her gaudy offensive numbers (in high school); Julie Ertz’s return to the USWNT; and how to properly use a semicolon. LISTEN HERE and WATCH THE ENTIRE EPISODE HERE.

This week’s VAMOS with Herc Gomez, Presented by Bud Light contains an interview with Mexico’s Feyenoord hero, newly-minted Eredivisie champ, and prolific goalscorer Santi Gimenez. Incredible what he has accomplished in his first season in Europe. LISTEN HERE

Coming tomorrow to the Pod feed, our Managers of the Season Pod Special featuring Erik ten Hag, Roberto De Zerbi and Unai Emery. Watch the Pod feed.

7. The Women’s Game by the Great Meg Swanick

a. Epic Rumble of a Weekend Ahead

We are blessed with a weekend of top of the table tussles, featuring NWSL’s near-deadlocked top four duking it out from coast to coast. The first seismic skirmish ignites in California, where ever-ascendant Alex Morgan’s San Diego Wave welcome goal-scoring renegades Portland Thorns; accelerating the opportunity for Thorns midfielder, Team USA dream-builder, golden boot contender Crystal Dunn to do something like this again (Friday, 10 PM ET, Paramount+). New York/New Jersey’s Gotham FC are buzzing at the number one spot for the first time since 2013. But they’ll need to wrest points from defensive stalwarts, creative ball bursts, Trinity Rodman-in-attack Washington Spirit to stay top (Sunday, 5 PM ET, Paramount+).

b. Lindsey Horan is staying in France! Cat Macario is leaving France, but missing the World Cup 🇫🇷

The most-decorated women’s club in the international game — Olympique Lyonnais Féminin — completed its season last weekend with another domestic trophy lifted over France. With final curtains drawn over the season, news came that USWNT’s prestige No. 10, Lindsey Horan, will remain with them into next year, and forego a return to NWSL where she’s been loaned from Portland Thorns. Elsewhere reports suggest the talent-soaked Catarina Macario will leave Lyon for Chelsea this summer - and that the Brazilian-born star’s ACL injury will prevent her from making the World Cup squad. Cat’s message via social media confirmed the haunting fears of USWNT fans eager to see among the most creative and inspired talents to come out of the US in years.

You can support The Great Horan and all the other USWNT players with the GFOPs over at Talisman and Co. from St. Paul, MN who have a USWNT line of caps in partnership with the USWNT Players Association ahead of the Women’s World Cup.

8. More Football, Did Ya Say?

i. Sid Lowe on Vinicius Jr., Spanish Racism, and La Liga’s Shame.

ii. Interesting piece by Simon Kuper: What Manchester United’s new owner really wants: “Weirdly, when bil­lion­aires tire of foot­ball and sell their clubs, they often make money any­way. The club turns out to be like a Picasso on your wall. It doesn’t throw off quarterly profits, but it does typ­ic­ally gain value over time. Best of all, when you show it to friends, they get so jeal­ous that some go out and buy one of their own.”

iii. Tactical Analysis of how Nottingham Forest Survived Relegation in Four phases of their Season.

iv. 🥾 Men in Blazers x New Balance Boot Giveaway 🥾

We're teaming up with the GFOPs from New Balance to give away a pair of signed boots from Bukayo Saka. Yes, THAT Bukayo Saka. 😱

All you have to do is fill out this short form. That’s it. One lucky GFOP will go home with Arsenal starboy Saka’s signature boots signed by the man himself. We’re so happy to bring GFOPs things like this as a thank you for sharing football memories with us.

9. Not Football, and All the Better for It

ii. This is the last newsletter of the Succession (and Everton in the Premier League) era: Goodbye to Succession. Take Monday off everyone.

iii. Can an organization named after a beer brand really "sell out"? The strange survival of Guinness World Records.

iv. I admire James Acaster. Like Dide, gent is talented in two distinct art forms: James Acaster Finds His Way Back to Music.

v. A fascinating look into the lives and politics of India's street dogs: The free dogs of India.

vi. Reading this piece brought on a feeling not dissimilar to the one I had watching Hidden Gems: I placed my first wager when I was 10. I’ve gambled more than $1 million since.

vii. Felt a little passive aggressive to be sent this from a coworker: I Spent Four Days In Absolute Silence and So Should You.

viii. Orcas sank three boats off the coast of Portugal, but don't call them 'killer' just yet. Property Damage Whales just doesn't have the same ring to it.

ix. It's never too late to benefit from nepotism: Lana Del Rey's father gears up for the release of his debut album. There's hope for a select few of us NepoDads.

x. One of the greatest movies of all time full stop. 2003’s Holes Is a Stone-Cold Classic—and the End Credits Song Is the Best Part.

xi. "I look down and I’m there in history." The world is a worse place without Tina Turner in it.

xii. AI Reconstructs High Quality Video Directly from Brain Readings. Soon Erling Haaland will be scoring goals in games he's not even playing in.

xiii. 5 Reasons to buy a pizza oven right now. The reasons are 1) Pizza 2) Pizza 3) Pizza 4) Pizza 5) Pizza. Makes me want to go to New Haven and go on a Pizza Crawl just reading this thing.

xiv. This song has lifted my week: Kendrick x Radiohead by Dwells.

That is it for today. Long weekend. Just remember a lot will end on Sunday. But know that the joy of football is that the truly profound emotions we experience watching it are just a release. We will, I hope, all leave the experience with as many limbs as we entered it. Whatever happens. Even the most unimaginable, unspeakable option, we have to know, it remains the most important least important thing. At least that is what I am telling myself.

PS. Happy wedding day to Haley Jones and Evan Raimist who is our lead marketer here at MiB. An incredible human being whose only weakness is that he is an Everton fan. May the team you love being relegated on your wedding day be the only darkness of the health and happiness you experience together in life.

To better days ahead for all.

Let’s make great memories through watching football together.

Big Love.

Courage.

ROG

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