20230825 Raven Newsletter

Hail GFOP!

I type with fingers filled with deluded hope, all while braced for cataclysmic disaster. Not yet three weeks into the season, and Everton, this thing that I was born to love, feel like they are in a self-destructive tailspin. No points, no goals on the season. Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Alex Iwobi now injured alongside Shite McNeil. I look at sane, sage, strategic Brighton soar with true wonder, and an envious heart. To be honest, I look at the problems Chelsea and Manchester United are grappling with, and would bite your arm off for them. The truth is, as bad as Everton are on the field, they are in worse shape off it. Bereft of cash. A takeover by slightly sketchy Miami-based 777 group is reported to be imminent. We play Wolves this weekend in the season’s first true Relegation Six-Pointer and I feel only despair. As I look at Everton’s schedule, I don’t even see where the draws are going to come from.

At the same time, I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to the opening whistle. Remind me again: Why do we watch? Why do we do this to ourselves?

Do not forget: Our Old Friend, False Hope AKA the Premier League Transfer Window shuts a week today, Friday, Sept. 1 at 6 p.m. ET.

2. To the Football

i. Chelsea vs. Luton (3 PM ET Today, P’Cock)

They couldn’t lose this one could they? Luton visit Chelsea for the first time since August 1991 back when George H.W. Bush was president. Chelsea remain winless in six Premier League games. Reece James and Carney Chukwuemeka are out with injury. The good news is, so is Mudryk.

More: Mauricio Pochettino explains why he is convinced of future success

ii. Bournemouth vs. Tottenham (Saturday, 7.30 AM ET, USA)

That Giant Aussie Care Bear Big Ange travels to spritely young ex-NYCFC player turned buccaneering Basque manager Andoni Iraola and his War Cherries. Spurs fans are sweating James Maddison after he left last week’s magnificent victory over United in a boot and did not train yesterday. Where there is Yves Bissouma and Pape Sarr, there is glory. PS. Tyler Adams was back in light training for Bournemouth yesterday but is some ways off from a return.

iii. Arsenal vs. Fulham (Saturday, 10 AM ET, USA)

After surviving an almighty scrap at Crystal Palace, Arsenal remain perfect in record, yet scratchy in form. Gabriel Jesus will be back in the squad giving Arsenal further striking options. The very thing Aleksandar Mitrovic-less Fulham lack. Tim Ream out after his harshest of sendings off last week. Incredible to listen to him talk through the bewildering experience on our Tim Ream podcast, American Dream. SUBSCRIBE HERE 

iv. Everton vs. Wolves (Saturday, 10 AM ET, P’Cock)

Cash crisis off the field. Footballing meltdown on it. A long-hoped for deal between Everton and American investment firm MSP Sports Capital has fallen apart, meaning Everton’s liquidity for the rest of the transfer window is down to coins Sean Dyche can find down the back of the couch. We can’t score, and all the players who vaguely know where the goal is are out injured. Sean Dyche’s apparent Michael Keane fixation repeatedly burns us at the back. Look at this stat:

Everton’s Expected Goals: -xG 3.3 (0 goals scored) is the joint highest underperformance in the league.

The Expected Goals Against: -xGA 4.4 is the joint 2nd highest in the league.

At least we are consistent.

v. Manchester United vs. Nottingham Forest (Saturday, 10 AM ET, P’Cock)

“Lads, it’s Manchester United.” Panic levels feel like they are at 11 as Mason Mount’s “small twinge” injury, an out-of-form Casemiro, and a blunt attack have sent the tabloid newspapers foaming over reports a United XI was beaten 3-0 by Burnley in a secret behind-closed-doors friendly. In rolls Matty Turner’s Nottingham Forest, who will feel they have more than a puncher’s chance.

More: Manchester United’s lack of moral leadership on Mason Greenwood is depressing.

vi. Newcastle vs. Liverpool (Sunday, 11.30 AM ET, USA)

After losing the heart of his midfield to the Saudi Arabian League, Jurgen Klopp must now play the Saudi’s Team. Eddie Howe will hope his transitionally clinical Toon can shred their opponent’s midfield and deliver Newcastle’s first Premier League win against the Reds since December 2015.

More: Endo can be a success at Liverpool – and a better buy than Caicedo

🇪🇬👑: Will Mo Salah go to Saudi Arabia? Where there is finger tape ripped off in anger, there is fire. Saudi Pro League side Al Ittihad are heavily linked to the Egyptian King despite Liverpool maintaining the 31-year-old is not for sale. The Saudi transfer window lasts an agonizing one week longer than the English one.

Finally: Mike Dean admits he blew a VAR call last year to spare his friend embarrassment

See the Full Premier League Broadcast Schedule Here

Men in Blazers x Bud Light Sweepstakes - Exclusive Prizes for GFOPs 🍺

You’ve long known about the GFOPs at Bud Light’s support of the game we all love. Now, they’re giving us the chance to give away some exclusive prizes only to those of you reading this newsletter. Entering is easy: just head to budlight.com/MIB to enter for your chance to win signed gear, exclusive Bud Light merch, and more.*

3. Crappiest Man in Spanish Football vows to “Fight on” 🇪🇸💩

Instead of marveling in the glory of Spain’s kaleidoscopic football, we were left talking about Crappy Men. In this case, Spanish Federation President (and UEFA Vice-President) Luis Rubiales for whom the drip, drip, drip of new misogyny allegations continues to an untenable point, even for a bloke with evident lack of shame. Yesterday, Spanish news agency EFE reported Rubiales plans to resign today after FIFA opened disciplinary proceedings against him, which meant that even FIFA had joined the players and the Spanish Prime Minister in lining up against the football bureaucrat. Yet, this morning, in a horrific U-turn, Rubiales has instead vowed to “fight on” while striking out at “false feminism” and a “social assassination” of his character. “I will not resign,” he repeated emphatically. “I will fight this to the end.”

The whole spectacle has been an agony to witness. Less than 72 hours after FIFA President Gianni Infantino told women they "have the power to convince us men what we have to do," one of those men, Rubiales, kissed his employee, elite striker Jenni Hermoso, full on the lips against her will, with the whole world watching. This sickening incident forces us to ask the question again: Do these football powerbrokers become elected because they are so craven and brazen or despite it? Here is Rubiales’ story of his climb to power. Women’s football is surging. But it will never truly be free until women who play it are safe, respected, and able to control the growth of their own game.  

PS. The Future of the American club league is profiled here in fascinating fashion by Beau Dure.

4. Lionel Messi. Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop 🇦🇷🐐

After lifting the Leagues Cup, Messi told his teammates, “I have long heard of this Kingdom of Skyline Chili. Let us defeat it.” (probably 😉) And it was job done on the banks of the Ohio River. Two more show-stopping late assists for the 🐐.

The ease with which Messi is racking up the stats and transforming the worst team in MLS is becoming so startling, there is hand-wringing in some quarters that he is in danger of exposing the standard of MLS. To those who feel the need to write “Stop Glazing Him” on every positive Messi post I have to say this: the joy with which he is playing, the delight he is taking in the collective enterprise, and the seriousness with which Lionel Messi is bringing to the pursuit of Leagues Cup and US Open Cup is a spectacle of wonder. The GOAT is on our shores, embarrassing our defenders as he has thousands before, and shopping in our grocery stores. If you cannot appreciate that, you are missing out on something that is just a delirious fever dream but for reals. To have Ray Hudson and Andreas Cantor commentating on it simultaneously is akin to having Luciano Pavarotti and Plácido Domingo singing the soundtrack to boot. Next up: New York Red Bulls and the mission impossible of getting Inter Miami into the MLS playoffs (Saturday, 7.30 PM ET).

🐐I made this short film about Messi’s League Cup victory. Drink it in. 🐐

5. Christian Pulisic is happy and playing free, emphatic football again 🇺🇸🇮🇹

How do you say "LeBron James of Soccer" in Italian? Danilo Gallinari Di Calcio apparently. A wondergoal on his Milan debut against Bologna. Next up Torino (at 2.45 PM ET Saturday) and his debut at San Siro, a cacophonous crucible whose intimidating atmosphere provides a true test for any Milan player. Pulisic told me he needs to feel happy and certain to play the kind of football at club level he has for the USMNT. May Milan empower him to re-summon that swagger. Yunus Musah should also make the squad for the first time.

ii. Monaco are close to reaching an agreement with Arsenal for the signing of Folarin Balogun for $45M. Subject to deal being finalized, Balogun will undergo a medical and sign a five-year contract. Godspeed, Flo.

PS. One more American to watch and savor in Europe this weekend: 17-Year-Old Diego Kochen, of Miami, Florida, who made the Barcelona bench last weekend. The goalkeeper is one of two 17-year-old Americans in Barcelona’s youth ranks, with his fellow U.S. U-17 international Adrian Gill thriving as a midfielder in La Masia. What a buzz for this young kid to be experiencing all of this at his age.

6. This Week at Men in Blazers. Football Don’t Sleep. And Neither Do We.

Another massive week at Men in Blazers where the Premier League did not allow us a moment to nurse our Women’s World Cup hangover, forcing right back unto the breach once more. And, thus, like Henry V’s men, we grabbed a couple Bacon Egg and Cheeses and got stuck right back in, all the better for it. You’ll know our fatigue by the opening number of mixed metaphors in this opening paragraph, but here are some of our favorite things we cooked up this week:

🚨 Pod Special with Ange Postecoglou, KDB and Sean Dyche LISTEN HERE. First, Tottenham manager and Aussie icon Ange Postecoglou sits down with Rog for a deep dive into his journey from Down Under to North London. Then, Manchester City midfielder Kevin de Bruyne chops it up on the mindmeld he's developed with goal scoring automaton Erling Haaland, and why Pep Guardiola thinks he needs to play angry. And finally, Everton manager Sean Dyche recounts last season's heart-stopping victory over Bournemouth to avoid relegation, plus what should give Evertonians hope this year 💀(note: recorded before the season began).

🇺🇸 Chris Richards’ Channels Clint Dempsey: “You don’t know where I’m from, Dawg.” WATCH HERE a wonderful clip from our interview with the Alabama native, whom I proper love, via our TIK TOK channel. And you can watch the entire interview with Chris on our YouTube Page.

🎧 MiB Media Network Pods that we are so proud of: The American Dream with Tim Ream and Steve Schlanger and VAMOS with Herc Gomez, Presented by Bud Light.

The American Dream is a Pod with an American footballing hero offering insight into the week-to-week grind of a Premier League season. It is incredible the way Tim can transport listeners inside the mindset of an elite footballer and is willing to talk through - step-by-step - what happens on the field. This week, he talks through his sending off at Brentford, what he saw, what he felt, how he experienced it. And it is remarkable. LISTEN, RATE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.

VAMOS with Herc Gomez is a Podcast for those of you who are proper CONCACAF. An unfiltered look at the stories in our football region. US National Teams, El Tri, Liga MX, Major League Soccer, and more. If you want insight into North American soccer and what is happening on these shores, this is the Podcast for you. LISTEN, RATE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.

7. Not Football, and all the better for it

i. Proof, if we needed it, that Mums are the Best: True Crime, True Faith: The Serial Killer and the Texas Mom Who Stopped Him.

ii. "Mariana Conti Schwartz has one daughter, two dogs and 103 stainless steel drinking tumblers." The Guardian looks at What’s behind our drive to collect useless items?

iii. A grandson pays tribute to his grandfather in this moving essay: Obituary For A Quiet Life. Have tissues on hand before reading this one. But in a good way.

iv. Go on a Walk With the Real-Life Master Roshi and His Giant Tortoise Friend, No Dragon Balls in Sight. The turtle wears a cowboy hat, what more do I need to say?

v. When 'Woody Wagons' Ruled the Road. We used to be a real country. One of my regrets in life is that I don’t have a wood-paneled car.

vi. Includes a brief and unexplored reference to Mann's childhood career as an attempted arsonist: Michael Mann Fulfills a 30-Year Journey Directing the Operatic, Thrilling ‘Ferrari’ — And Teases ‘Heat 2’: ‘I Don’t Think About Mortality. I’m Busy’. I bet Michael!

vii. Rolling Stone looks at The 50 Worst Decisions in TV History. Greenlighting the Men In Blazers show somehow doesn't even rank.

viii. Diane Mehta finds majesty in the most unlikely of places: Epiphany at the Y: Learning to Swim Later in Life. I hate the water, but sharing lanes never sounded so poetic.

ix, Last time I felt this level of betrayal Carlo had just left us for Madrid: What’s Inside a Butter Cow? It’s Not Just Butter.

x. This song is Amazing: I revere Angie McMahon. The Australian singer-songwriter is overloaded with honesty, empathy and emotion. A lot of her thinking got me through the Pandemic. I am beyond elated she is coming to the United States on tour. Listen to Letting Go. Your life will feel better after doing so.

xi. I LOVED this Book: The Story of the Forest by Linda Grant. In my memoir, I wrote how my great-grandfather had fled Ukraine hoping to reach Chicago, and got off the boat in Liverpool by accident on the way. Turns out, Linda Grant’s family had the exact same experience, only she is a much better writer than me. This sprawling multi-generational novel digs deep into the stories families tell themselves about themselves. It is a true stunner.

That is it for today, I will leave you with a magical Raven I received from GFOP Greg Jacobs who was musing on the classical roots of Peter Drury’s intonations. Greg writes:

“Can't cite it, but I heard once about how Tolkien's Rohirrim often spoke in alliterative verse similar to that used in Anglo-Saxon poetry. As when Theoden says at the gates of Minas Tirith, "Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered..." Compare this pacing to Peter Drury's commentary. I mean, I've noticed this before, but Drury today after Odegaard’s penalty: "Smooth, serene, certain." Almost identical. Tolkien and Drury - two giants of English literature.

Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!

Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!

Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered,

a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!

Arsenal one, Crystal Palace nil!

I love that. The Anglo-Saxon influences of Drury commentary. Bring on the Weekend.

Let’s Make Great Memories Together. Especially us Everton fans.

Savor every second.

Big Love.

Courage.

ROG

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