Hail GFOP!  

Happy Easter to all who celebrate. What a weekend. After the emotionalism of the European matchweek touched so many teams, the Premier League still delivered. Trent Alexander-Arnold conjured a winner that was like the Chicken Jockey scene in the Minecraft movie – you knew it was coming, and you also knew there was going to be absolute pandemonium in the theater when it did. Liverpool fans are now frantically decoding the many meanings of TAA's celebration. Aston Villa overwhelmed Newcastle in a second half that felt like a shot-for-shot remake of the middle third of “Warfare.” Manchester United proved their Thursday-night relaunch was quicker than a Katy Perry flight on Blue Origin. Manchester City shocked mighty superpower Everton Football Club who are, thank god, mathematically safe after Ipswich's defeat against Arsenal, which also put Liverpool's Scouse champagne title celebrations on ice, for now...

ii. The performance of the weekend undoubtedly belongs to Aston Villa. To fight so hard against PSG, and win the battle but lose the two-leg war, must have taken so much out of that squad. To refocus immediately and channel that disappointment, rather than let it destroy them, is humanly remarkable.

iii. The highlight of my weekend was learning about this OVER-50 WOMEN’S FOOTBALL TOURNAMENT HELD IN SOUTH AFRICA, which GFOP @McMeredeithB turned me onto. Teams and fans from seven different countries across the globe converged in a small farming town in South Africa, vuvuzelas and all, for the second ever Grannies International Football Tournament, where the one rule is players must be women over the age of 50. After four days of play, Boston-based New England Breakers beat France's Les Zamies in a penalty shootout to take home the trophy. More here. It is the best of football. 🙌

iv. This week, I am filming with Arne Slot who is within touching distance of doing the ineffable. Also elated, Brené Brown, that giant of emotions, and a guest I have wanted to have on for while, will join me to talk about her love of Liverpool. In that regard, we have a MONSTER of a conversation with Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora who is a Liverpool obsessive. I loved this bloke – he has gone over to Anfield to spend time with Jurgen Klopp, Slot and Big Virg. Look to our YouTube on Wednesday to have your day brightened.

Be in touch with anything at all via meninblazers@gmail.com. I particularly want to thank GFOP Leslie Dobbs-Allsop, who wrote to me from Princeton, NJ, telling me she has taken up needlework in this crazy time to try and keep calm, and sewed me this truly moving handkerchief in my father’s memory. I love it so much Leslie, and will have this framed for our Panic Room studio. To life! And to memory through football.

Courage,

ROG

A New Villain Enters the Race for Top Five 🦁

- Written by Tommy Stewart

Aston Villa 4-1 Newcastle

Aston Villa were tantalizingly close to reaching a Champions League semi-final last week and will not be ashamed that they were shaded by the quality of PSG. Lesser teams might be bruised by such an exit, but Unai Emery has built a squad at Villa Park that has the mettle to dust themselves off and go again with a very quick turnaround. Ollie Watkins has long enjoyed the ascent of Aston Villa as the pinnacle of its strike force through different managers and seasons, but his team’s strength in depth that is a symptom of its success has been bittersweet. Whenever he plays, he seems to have to prove his value to the team, which he did once again on Saturday with a deflected goal just 34 seconds into the game. Although the scores were level at half-time, Villa were assertive and picked up where they left off in the second, as that man again, Watkins, weighted a perfect pass to an overlapping Ian Maatsen, who put away his first Premier League goal; isn’t it great to see an Ian back on a Premier League scoresheet? After that, it was a question of how many Emery’s team won it by rather than if, so a Dan Burn own goal and an Onana rocket were a just reflection of how this game played out.

Newcastle Finally Come Down to Earth

It’s admirable how effortlessly Newcastle have avoided a hangover after winning their first trophy in 70 years last month, and how they’ve kept winning since the hospitalization of the man behind that historic moment, Eddie Howe. Before being confronted by Emery’s iron men, they’d won their last six matches, scoring 17 in that run and climbing to third in the table, where they still remain. Although Jason Tindall’s teeth, hair and beard remain immaculate, this result and its nature will have grounded him, because he was outsmarted by an experienced manager who’s accustomed to winning big football matches and trophies. With five Premier League games remaining and the Magpies keeping third place, whether they play in the Champions League next season is totally in their hands, but with Chelsea and Arsenal to come, and Howe still ill, now is Tindall’s Newcastle’s real exam.

Liverpool’s Somewhat Unlikely Hero ❤️

Leicester 0-1 Liverpool

Substitute Trent Alexander-Arnold’s late winner away at the King Power stadium could be a goodbye gift to Liverpool fans that might mean an amicable breakup rather than an acrimonious one. The local lad has understandably been enticed by Real Madrid and his best buddy from a different school, Jude Bellingham, who it seems he’ll likely join on a free this summer, but you wouldn’t decipher that from the passionate outburst that followed his left-footed volley. Trent is the scouser of the Champions-elect, the fan on the pitch, the boy who became a man in front of his people’s eyes, which is why his possible exit feels more personal than a football transfer usually would, but his goal and shirtless gesture towards those Liverpudlians to take his team a win away from a 20th title was poetic. Ruud van Nistelrooy’s wounded Foxes put up a reasonable fight that will be a meaningless consolation to Leicester fans, whose relegation was confirmed amidst a miserable run of 810 minutes, or nine matches at home, without seeing their team score a goal. This begs the question: when will Ruud rise from retirement like The Undertaker and put on his shooting boots again?

Ipswich Town 0-4 Arsenal

This was a match that separated men from boys, Ed Sheeran from Anne Hathaways, and Championship from Champions League. It was a stellar performance from Arsenal where Mikel Arteta rested a few of his midweek Madrid-conquerers, allowing a starting place for Leandro Trossard, who coolly opened the scoring in the first half and doubled his money in the second. Gooner hearts will have sunk at the sight of the only recently fit Bakayo Saka’s Achilles being trod on by Ipswich left-back, Leif Davis, who was rightly red-carded for the challenge, leaving the Tractor Boys with little hope of a comeback at 2-0 down. This will be Arsenal’s third Premier League silver medal on the bounce, but they’re currently looking as emboldened as any team who’s in a Champions League semi-final. Be afraid, Luis Enrique. Be very (somewhat) afraid.

Manchester United 0-1 Wolves

Andy Bernard from “The Office” could have been every Manchester United fan when he said, “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” They’ll always have Lyon, but a much quieter Old Trafford was reminded of where their team are really at in a 1-0 defeat at the teeth of Wolves, which was their 15th league loss of the season, a 35-year-old record that Ruben Amorim will have hated breaking. There was a Bruno Fernandes-shaped chasm in United’s midfield, as the man who perennially plays football and rarely gets injured, was given a well-deserved break, but even he couldn’t rescue his side when he was introduced in the second half. A lovely late Pablo Sarabia free kick left André Onana flatfooted as a golden mosh pit in the corner of Old Trafford celebrated guaranteed Premier League status next season. With five league wins in a row, Wolves’ form under Vítor Pereira has added weight to the theory that a mid-season managerial change for a struggling side is often a very good idea.

Fulham 1-2 Chelsea

Earlier this week, Chelsea boss Enzo Maresca described his team’s final six games as ‘six finals’ – a stretch of results that will determine if his first year as the Blues’ manager is deemed a success or not. First up, Fulham, the league’s consistently inconsistent neutral’s favorite. After making the mile-long journey to Craven Cottage, Chelsea played flat and stiff in the first 45, going into the half down one. But thanks to a halftime swap that saw Nicolas Jackson, who has now gone 12 league games without finding the back of the net, come out for academy lad Tyrique George, Maresca was able to refocus his offense, with George knocking home his first Premier League goal in the process. Then, in the 93rd minute, Pedro Neto, one of Chelsea’s many forgotten threats, came up huge with a rocket of a finish to secure the points for the Blues and lock them in a three-way tie for fifth with Forest and Villa. Liverpool, Newcastle, and the Tricky Trees still beckon, but for now, Maresca’s squad lay claim to the much-coveted fifth Champions League spot based on goal difference alone.

And Now, Rog’s Super Chill Thoughts on WTF Happened to Everton this Weekend 💙 

Everton 0-2 Manchester City

Rog writes: Did I expect Everton to win? Yes and no. We were winless in our last 16 against City, but the belief St. David Moyes has instilled after a 1-0 win last week at Forest left him saying to James Garner, "Let's get used to this feeling, this should be the norm'.” And Everton did channel that spirit of Garner at the outset, holding City at arms length, hitting the post via a James Tarkowsksi header, and making Pep’s mob appear frustrated and subdued. The game changed when Tarkowski limped off in the 51st minute and was replaced by Michael Keane, who tried his hardest to create for Manchester City. Inside 10 minutes, he attempted to maim Jordan Pickford, let Marmoush in on goal, and then finally succeeded in the 84th minute, losing Nico O'Reilly in the box and leaving him to stab home. Kovacic killed the game off late. Huge win for City who leapfrog Nottingham Forest, moving into third until they beat Spurs on Monday. For Everton, the feeling of a season ending and watching Tarkowski depart was a body blow. Let's not remember him as a player limping off in agony in what could be his last moments on the field at Goodison Park. Instead, let's remember the ecstasy he delivered in the 98th minute against the Reds. The last-ever nighttime goal in the history of that Grand Old Home. 💙💪🏼

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Some Absolute Weekend Worldies 🚀 🥅

There were a lot of great goals this weekend, but these three get top marks:

On the Continent 🇪🇺

🇮🇹 Serie A: For Manchester United fans, Scott McTominay regularly knocking home match winners for title-chasing Napoli is like seeing an ex on Instagram thrive in a new relationship and job. He scored the only goal in his team’s away win at Monza, while Inter Milan’s winning run was impeded by fourth-place Champions League-chasers, the ever-entertaining Bologna, who won 1-0 against the reigning Italian champions. In a temperamental title scuffle between Inter and Napoli, we are now square on a level playing field as both clubs sit on 71 points after 33 games, with third-place Atalanta seven points back after picking up a win away at AC Milan.

🇪🇸 La Liga: You can forgive Barcelona for nursing a European hangover that was induced by Tuesday’s loss at Borussia Dortmund, which will have hurt despite qualifying for the Champions League semi-finals, but finding themselves 3-1 down at home to Celta Vigo with 30 minutes to play felt like an existential collapse. Step in captain fantástico and future Balon d’Or winner, Raphinha, who scored the equalizer and then a 99th-minute winner as he continues to deal mainly in miracles this season. Over in the capital on Sunday night, the Bernabeu booed at half-time, as gravity took its toll on Don Carlo Ancelotti’s famous eyebrow and the ceilinged-stadium simmered to boiling point. That all was cooled down by a late Real Madrid winner via Federico Valverde’s absolute worldie against an unlucky Athletic Bilbao, who can look forward to facing Manchester United in the Europa League semi-final in May. Atletico Madrid’s 1-0 defeat to the sinking Las Palmas puts them out of title contention in all but maths. 

🇩🇪 Bundesliga: The world keeps turning, which means Harry Kane is still scoring goals for Bayern Munich, who are strolling towards the Bundesliga title following a 4-0 win away at Heidenheim. That’s now 36 goals across all competitions this season for the England captain, and with second-place Leverkusen only mustering a draw against St. Pauli, the Bavarian giants are eight points up with only four games left.

Mid-Week Matches Worth Faking a Meeting for 📺 

Premier League 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Tottenham vs. Nottingham Forest (Today, 3 p.m. ET, USA)

Spurs are living a double life at the moment. On the one hand, they’re two wins away from a trophy in the Europa League, and on the other, they’re trudging along the Premier League’s seafloor of relevance, clear of relegation but really only fighting for Big Ange to keep his job at this point. Conversely, Forest are in the thick of it: a win takes them back to third while a draw leaves them level with City in fourth. But a loss and they stay tied for fifth with a confusing Chelsea side and a hard-charging Villa.

Manchester City vs. Aston Villa (Tuesday, 3 p.m. ET, USA)

This is a seismic game that could decide which of these sides plays Champions League football next season, but as the fixture list shrinks and the value of each Premier League point inflates, a loss would be devastating for either. It could also be an FA Cup final dress-rehearsal, but to Spanish countrymen, Pep Guardiola and Unai Emery, it is business first, and both are titans in the industry of winning the biggest football matches. 

Arsenal vs. Crystal Palace (Wednesday, 3 p.m. ET, USA)

We’re always here for midweek Premier League fun in the capital, as Crystal Palace travel 13 miles north to face Champions League semi-finalists, Arsenal. Weeks ago, Palace were within touching distance of Europe, which they can still reach via the FA Cup, and with Eze on your team, absolutely anything is possible. As PSG and dreams of Champions League glory loom, Mikel Arteta should be resting many of his main men, but even a weakened Arsenal at the Emirates is a formidable opponent. 

Coppa Italia 🇮🇹

Inter Milan vs. AC Milan (Wednesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

Inter Milan have smartly navigated a quiet revolution for a few years now that could crescendo with a treble this season. They’re serial Serie A winners, recent-Champions League finalists, and are still charging on all-fronts as joint-league leaders, European and cup semi-finalists, which brings us to their second-leg Coppa Italia clash with neighbors, AC Milan, this week. Although the Rossoneri swirl in unfamiliar mid-table soup this season, they do have Christian Pulisic, who has found love in a hopeless place at the San Siro, where he’s thriving with 24 goal contributions in all competitions. The tie is level at 1-1 and it is as big to both teams for very different reasons: Inter hunt down history while Milan look to salvage dignity.

Some Non-Football to Start the Week Off Right 📖

• The end of the oddball 'roadside attraction.' They will have to pry the World's Biggest Ball of Twine from my cold dead hands. 

• There Are Two Types of Dishwasher People. Some go three at the back, some go four, which are you? 

• How a Reporter Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Steak Fries. All fries are good fries, just maybe not as good as curly, waffle, or crinkle-cut. 

• The Strange Evolution of WWE’s Official WrestleMania Themes. Really gives a whole new meaning to “setting the mood.”

• Astronomers Detect a Possible Signature of Life on a Distant Planet. Conversely, are scientists looking at our planet and detecting any possible signatures of life in Cole Palmer?

It’s MiB Trivia Time 🤔

Are you ready for some trivia?

This week’s question: Before this year, when was the last time Arsenal played in a Champions League semi-final and who were their opponents?

Reply to this email with your answer for a chance to win an illustrious MiB patch.

Last week’s answer: Congratulations to our winner, Jeff Peltier, who was quickest to respond correctly to the question: where does Mo Salah stand on the all-time Premier League top goalscorer list? The answer was joint-fifth with Sergio Aguero on 184!

Well done, Jeff! The patch is in the post. 🚚