I type with fingers full of Frank, of both the “Defenestrated by Spurs Thomas” and the "Manchester United non-haircut” varieties. It is FA Cup fourth-round weekend, AKA the 48 hours in which Americans all learn what a “Macclesfield” is. But Premier League fans are all still reeling from Thomas Frank’s belated firing at chaos club Tottenham, and in a football discourse that is post-tactics, post-duels, and post-transfer hot take, are all utterly ensconced in the white-hot heat of whether the United Strand’s Frank Ilett will ever get his haircut.

On Frank Ilett: Wayne Rooney may despise him, but the haircut boy is the perfect bellwether for football in our extremely online age. Frank is on a 500-day follicle journey – one that has turned his curls and his perma Mona Lisa-esque melancholic expression into an omnipresent, globally understandable meme. A blank canvas upon which we can project all our yearnings. He communicates everything to everyone. Photoshop him into a Spurs shirt – he is trauma. Make him bald and jam him in a Brentford jersey and he instantly becomes joy. A lovely kicker is that his initial demand – the five-game Premier League win streak – is such a rare achievement (only five teams have done it within the last 290 days) that is brilliantly in line with the unwieldy expectation of modern fans. Perhaps most powerfully, Frank looms over Manchester United like a modern Godzilla. 

Their 1-1 draw at West Ham extended Michael Carrick’s interim record to a breathtaking four wins and one draw. Yet, at the final whistle, it felt like a shattering defeat. Frank is both in love with United and undermining the thing that he loves in equal measure. What could be more modern football than that? Watching West Ham players get post-game haircuts to mark snapping the five-game haircut streak as if it was a seismic victory was also zeitgeist surreal. A team still very much in the relegation zone. The truth is, that dude’s gonna go bald before United win five games in a row. Nature has a cure for everything. 

Also: I enjoyed this read on Casemiro’s resurgence at United. 📈

ii. I signed my first book in the street this week. I still don’t quite understand how the person – a magical Arsenal-supporting hotel worker in an elevator in Atlanta – had a copy. But I loved seeing it out in the world. Thanks to all of you pre-order wizards. I spent an hour at the publishers yesterday signing copies and posters and will send one out to you when you take the incredible step of pre-ordering a copy. Writing a book is like having a child – a child made of paper – and it is so hard. I will never forget your love & support in this moment. 📚

iii. One of the true highlights this week was the premier of a brand new show on our VAMOS channel, one that’s been in the works for a while: “Duel Nats.” Anchored by an iconic duo, our very own Herc Gomez and the phenomenal Sebastian Salazar, they’ll cover the global game, especially the leagues and players from the Americas. These two have deep footballing insight and chemistry born of a long history together. The first episode is pure joy, watch it here. ✌️

More: This was another highlight: Halle Berry revealing she is a Scouser. ❤️

iv. Steve Nash also joined me to talk about Messi vs. Mbappé and just how amped he is for the World Cup. Man is a North American treasure. 🍻 

v. Lastly, I taped a magical hour with Diego Luna AKA the USMNT’s sensational Moon Boy, for a new series following his journey to this summer named, “Shoot The Moon.” It drops next week. He is incredibly uplifting and inspirational and I can’t wait for you to hear it. 🌜

vi. Speaking of Team USA, check out the dribbling skills on Ilia Malinin, aka the Quad God. Guy’s gonna win figure skating gold today, Poch better be watching. ⛸️

vii. We have Mumford and Sons coming back imminently. Let me know what questions you have for those huge football fans. 🎸

Courage,
ROG

PS - This is one of the most painfully human free-kick botch jobs you’ll ever see. Australian footballers, they’re just like us. 😑

I think it was a Paddy Power commercial that spoke the truth: Spurs are having the kind of season cut from Arsenal fans' pure lolz-filled dreams. An injury-ridden dank-football-propelled descent into madness, or at least to 16th place, on the cusp of the relegation zone. A tortured Thomas Frank has paid the price, being belatedly canned after gleaning a meager 29 points in 26 games, the lowest rate of any Spurs manager with five+ games in the competition. His cardinal sin was being an overachieving, small-club, low-possession football manager agreeing to lead a bigger club that demands optimistic, buccaneering, Champions League-qualifying football. He was rejected like a donor organ in a host body. 

So many questions now remain. Was this merely a problem of management or was he a symbol of a systemic culture of chaos? (How about both of the above?) Is Spurs' low-wage structure, damned by Big Ange in a well-timed redemption-tour appearance in which he said they are a big club in name only, truly to blame? Are Spurs really in a relegation dogfight, and if so, is this squad truly assembled for that purpose? Perhaps most fascinating of all: How long can a club’s DNA tell fans it is one thing – a Big Six team who play artistic, attacking football – when the reality is Spurs have won just 20 of their last 60 games? At what point do we say, “This is who they are now?”

More: Will Pochettino go back to Spurs… and will that romanticism work?

Also: Post-Dyche Nottingham Forest are a symbol of our times. An autocratic football club. Who would want to go and become their fourth manager of the season now?

After the Premier League race tightened this midweek, it is going to be fascinating to witness just how seriously the Premier League teams (like Sunday’s Aston Villa vs. Newcastle), most of whom are poised on a knife edge without a safety net in their respective league-placed fights, take this tournament. Brace yourself to think deeply about upsets and “what a Port Vale” is.

Arsenal vs. Wigan Athletic (Sunday, 11:30 a.m. ET, ESPN+)

A game played in the shadow of a Premier League battle which has just tightened like a sphincter. Last night, Arsenal toiled at Brentford who overwhelmed a side stripped of the ill Saliba and Havertz down the stretch. A game of two great headers, late misses and massive saves. Arsenal scored on their only shot on target all night. Brentford equalized in the most Arsenalish of ways, off a long throw. The gap is now just four points with 12 games to go. Enter fallen third-tier cellar dweller Wigan Athletic. A speed bump. How hard does Arteta chase the quadruple? How much does he emphasize rest?

Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Brace yourself for a couple of ashamed Gyökeres Bane-cellies. Arsenal romp 3-0.

Chelsea vs. Hull City (TODAY, 2:45 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

Well played, FA Cup writers. Well played. Making Liam Rosenior return to the town of Philip Larkin, to face humble Hull City where he spent 18 months learning his managerial craft, like Zach Braff returning to his hometown of South Orange in “Garden State.” By the way, Rosenior speaking admirably and bravely about how his family is being impacted by the discourse surrounding him on social media is a warning shot. He is a man who is both winning, but I fear, in a no-win situation in which every game is a must-win, if you know what I mean. 

Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Perfect day for Liam. His boys drop four on the Tigers, and he traps a ball perfectly on the sideline.

Manchester City vs. Salford City (Saturday, 10 a.m. ET, ESPN+)

Narrative 1, conspiracy theorists 2. Manchester City welcome the League Two minnows owned by United legends Nicky Butt, Ryan Giggs, Gary Neville, Phil Neville, Paul Scholes and Sir David Beckham. 

Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Manchester City crushed the Ammies 8-0 in last season's FA Cup. I expect that to feel like a close game. Citeh 10-0.

Wrexham vs. Ipswich (TODAY, 2:45 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

In the week they celebrated five years since the Rob Mac and Ryan Reynolds takeover, Wrexham look to make it past the FA Cup fourth round for the first time in 29(!) years. Manager “for life” Phil Parkinson & co. face up against fellow Championship side Ipswich, who sit three places above them in the table. The two sides met as recently as November, with neither able to register a goal. Back in the league: last week’s 2-0 loss to Millwall has Wrexham hanging onto their playoff spot on goal difference, while Kieran McKenna’s Ipswich side sit in third with a game in hand. 

Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Up the Town 2-1.

More: Ryan Reynolds and Rob Mac on five years at Wrexham: ‘We’ve just got started’

Liverpool vs. Brighton (Saturday, 3 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

The Under Pressure Clásico: Fallen bald king Arne Slot, or flailing child warrior Fabian Hürzeler? Large sections of each team’s fanbase seem to have fallen out of love with both. Whom would you rather be? 

Rog-Stradamus 🔮: The Seagulls beat Manchester United away in the third round. Slot needs this more though. 1-0 Wirtz.

A note on Everton: We don’t play, having been dumped out by Sunderland in the last round. Watching us be clipped by Bournemouth midweek after soaring to seventh place was an all-too-predictable human agony. As @jpends tweeted: “This season, Everton have taken two points from a possible 18 in home games which have directly followed an away victory. It truly is the hope that kills you.”

Full weekend FA Cup schedule here 🏆

Our good friends at TrueFan Travel, the official fan travel partner of Wrexham AFC, are taking fans on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to North Wales. You know how much we’ve loved our trips to the SToK Cae Ras, and this is your chance to get the full Wrexham experience – including a tour of the grounds, matchday tickets, a Wrexham alumni meetup, and a ton more. Use code MENINBLAZERS for $200 off your VIP package and who knows, maybe you’ll run into Ryan and Rob while you’re there. If you do, give them our best.

More details here 🎟️

Unlike the Premier League, the Championship marches on this weekend with five games amidst the FA Cup tournament of broken dreams. Either team could jump into the playoff spots when Preston host Watford Saturday (10 a.m. ET, Paramount+). The home side is facing an injury crisis with eight players out, and as of this week are without Everton loanee Harrison Armstrong, who is set to stay in Liverpool after impressing in the first half of the season. Visitors Watford make the 200-mile trip north with new manager, 35-year-old Ed Still, whose appointment came as a surprise after his brother, former Southampton manager Will Still, was the bookies’ favorite to take charge.

Inter Milan vs. Juventus (Saturday, 2:45 p.m. ET, Paramount+) 

Behold! The Derby d’Italia, or the finger-purse Clásico. Weston McKennie will break from Juventus contract renewal talks to try and land a bruise on the runaway Serie A leaders.

Real Madrid vs. Real Sociedad (Saturday, 3 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

The bad news for Madrid fans: Interim coach Álvaro Arbeloa negotiates an alleged mutiny at Real Madrid. The good news: his side can leapfrog Barcelona until at least Monday. Standing in their way is New Jersey’s Pellegrino Matarazzo and his undefeated-in-six Real Sociedad side.

Napoli vs. Roma (Sunday, 2:45 p.m. ET, Paramount+) 

It’s low block vs. high press and grit against risk, as Antonio Conte’s third-placed Napoli welcome Gian Gasperini’s fifth-placed Roma.

As we build our newsletter cinematic universe, we bring you On the Continent, a fun and insightful expansion of our European football coverage that comes out every Thursday. Yesterday’s edition looked at Europe’s most runaway title race, and might be sitting in your inbox as you read this.

This week’s phrase is: “Only _______ can save Spurs now, because ________”

Email us your submissions to be in contention to win a coveted MiB patch.

There were loads of wonderful entries last week, but there can only be one winner:

Connor McCullough: “Michael Carrick is making Manchester United hateable Again!”

Respect, Connor. Old school United fans know that was the mark of the glory days. Send us your postal. We send you a patch.

Christian Larsen from Dallas writes: “I’m a Brighton & Hove Albion supporter. After nearly four years of spending one glorious or gut-wrenching day a week supporting the Seagulls, I made the pilgrimage to watch us face Palace at the Amex.

We lost and by all neutral accounts it was a dreadful game of football. But it was the most fun I have ever had watching football. The hurt that comes with a 0-1 loss to our dread rivals was dissipated by being among the 30,000 supporters. To be able to turn to someone that wasn't my poor wife or the one other Brighton supporter who comes with me to the Londoner and lament our weaknesses while speedily drinking a pint during halftime felt like therapy. I met some incredible people and it all finally felt like it was part of something bigger, rather than a sometimes exciting, sometimes very painful show on NBC. Since that game, the hurt is nothing like it used to be. I have exorcised a demon, crossed into a higher plane of being, wandering the narrow lanes in Sussex by the Sea. For that, I owe you for fanning the flames long ago when I was Premier League-curious.”

Rog writes: Christian, THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF. Thank you for sharing. You are one of thousands of our readers who are going over to England to watch your boys live. These stories thrill me.

Keep sending your thoughts and questions to [email protected].

To better days ahead for all.

Let’s not take a moment watching football together for granted and make great memories.

Big Love.

Courage,
ROG

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