What a weekend of football that delivered drama at levels that “Bridgerton” Season Four could not even contemplate. Manchester City won at Liverpool in a game which went from the sublime to the ridiculous. Arsenal 3, Haters 0. At Old Trafford, Michael Carrick’s revivalism continues. Whatever United are on, I want some, and Everton came from behind to win. If these are indeed the end of days, I love them so much. Bring. It. On.

I don’t know about you, but I am still buzzing from the denouement to the Liverpool-Manchester City game. Dominik Szoboszlai living out the best of times, the worst of times. City being worse than Jack Doherty at a PGA tournament, but somehow emerging intact. We break the game down below, but the last-second empty netter, ultimately ruled off, is so glorious – like one of those ancient English village traditions of a cheese wheel being flung down a hill with everyone risking life and limb to chase it. 🧀

ii. I want to thank everyone who participated in the MiB Discord this weekend – you all make me laugh so hard. Among my favorite comments were Manchester United supporter SpaceManSpam, who said, “My therapist noted the other day that I’ve been in a much better mood lately and I had to explain Carrickball to her,” and JasonMWilliams, who responded to my asking Arsenal fans, “How is cheering for the Scousers?” by saying, “I’ve always been concerned about people walking alone.” With a full slate of midweek matches this week, come and be with me in the #premier-league channel to drop more of these bangers. 🍻

iii. This was the best thing I read all week: a brilliant piece on the curious chemistry between football and film by the very talented Jacob Steinfield, who knows the difference between Fellaini and Fellini. 🎬

iv. Please take a minute to read CHAPTER TWO OF MY BOOK! It tells the story of how England made me crap my pants in 1982 and how I never trusted them again. BTW – crap my pants, for real. Here’s the link to Chapter Two of “We Are the World (Cup).” Pre-Order it now and I will send you some free crap with my love. 📚

v. The best goal of the weekend you may not have seen goes to this last-minute winner from Drogheda United in the League of Ireland. Just glorious. 🇮🇪

Either that, or this beautiful volley from Remo’s Nicolas Ferreira in Brazil. You really don’t hit it any sweeter than that. 🇧🇷

vi. Lovely piece this on Wrexham and what it feels like for the fans to follow them in a life-changing way. I have met hundreds of supporters who will attest to this. So much bigger than football. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

vii. Your day will start better listening to Spanish television’s coverage of Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s goal. 🎉

viii. I am off to Atlanta this week. Thanks for all your food recs. Keep them coming here. 🍑

Courage,
ROG

PS - “Living in Tracy Chapman’s House.” I feel like this piece was written just for me, and all of us, at the same time. 💙

By Tommy Stewart

Liverpool 1-2 Manchester City ❤️🩵

Although City dominated an entertaining first half, it was all just small talk before a bullet Dominik Szoboszlai free kick defied physics and deemed Gianluigi Donnarumma a statue with just over 15 minutes left. Anfield became a wall of noise, but just when it seemed City had conceded the title, Bernardo Silva slid in the equalizer to create the sound of silence. Alisson then clumsily handed City an injury-time penalty that Erling Haaland duly converted, but this was still preamble. Deep in injury time, Donnarumma made arguably the save of the season: an “I was there” flick from a long-range Alexis Mac Allister shot, yet there was still more! In the 100th minute, with Liverpool’s goal unoccupied, the referee chose law over common sense, sending off Szoboszlai for taking down Haaland but wiping off a City goal, somehow angering both managers before calling time on a manic second half for the ages.

City’s Title-Charge Rocket Fuel 🚀

Although Arsenal’s squad and coaching staff are stacked with quality, they don’t contain many champions. This is a mood-swing version of a Pep Guardiola Manchester City side, but when they’re backed into a corner, as they were at Anfield yesterday, they so often come out fighting and landing hits. Pep’s won six Premier Leagues and despite being inconsistent and in transition, his squad is full of title-winning knowhow and treble-winners from across Europe. Julius Caesar said, “Experience is the teacher of all things,” so Mikel Arteta cannot relinquish his foot from the accelerator, because as long as his old master and the league’s only serial winner has a mathematical chance, this title race is still open.

A Tale of Two Goalkeepers 🧤

In Alisson and Donnarumma, Liverpool and City have two of the best goalkeepers in the world, and while the Italian No.1 had his manager boyishly replicating that miraculous late save that won his side the game, his opposing number left empty handed. It was Liverpool’s Brazilian keeper who had the busier match, and he kept his side from capitulating early with a one-on-one stop vs. Haaland, but when faced with a similar challenge in injury time, he buckled, handing City the penalty that would ultimately decide the game.

Arsenal 3-0 Sunderland

The Granit Xhaka grudge match was much more placid than the last time these two met, and that’s probably because he missed out with an ankle injury. Like last week at Elland Road, Martin Zubimendi opened proceedings, drilling in from distance just before half time, dedicating his celebration to injured compatriot Mikel Merino. Sunderland shaded possession but hardly troubled David Raya, allowing Arsenal to force mistakes and exert their Big Vik Energy via a second half Gyökeres brace. The Swedish striker has suffered more scrutiny than most this season, but he’s emerging from the darkness as Arsenal’s top scorer with eight goals. Manchester United’s siege of the Emirates might have been the trauma-bonding Arsenal’s fans and players didn’t know they needed, because they’ve scored seven and conceded none in the league since.

Manchester United 2-0 Tottenham

The irony of Spurs captain Cristian Romero lambasting his side’s lack of availability ahead of their visit to Old Trafford, before being sent off for fouling Casemiro with the game at 0-0, is tragically poetic. He now misses the next four games and handed Michael Carrick’s resurgent reds the victory when Bryan Mbeumo finished his third in four after a well-worked corner less than 10 minutes later. In the second half, Bruno Fernandes continued his convincing Premier League Player of the Season campaign, shinning the ball past Vicario in front of the Stretford End for his 200th goal involvement for the club. Since the sad Europa League Final between these two sides last May, both have sacked and appointed new managers with opposing effects. Spurs won the battle of Bilbao, but they’ve now sunk into a relegation battle with one win in 10, while United chase the top.

Wolves 1-3 Chelsea

Cole Palmer’s first-half hat-trick at the Molineux on Saturday was colder than the Winter Olympics and more satisfying than chippy chips because he’s a footballer who makes the Premier League a better place. Sure, the first two goals came from penalties, but the artistic way he brushed them into each of José Sá’s bottom corners epitomized the No.10 at his best. The third buried Wolves before half time and came from a late run into the box, proving that despite enduring an injury-hindered stop/start season, he can still sniff out a poacher’s goal like a shark smelling blood. While Wolves remain dire, Palmer now has 51 goals in 100 starts for Chelsea, and his confident young manager Liam Rosenior has won four Premier League games on the spin.

Watch: Palmer demonstrates the coldest way ever to take a match ball home.

Fulham 1-2 Everton

Holy crap, what a win. Everton BACK like the Muppets. Hard to comprehend. We were so poor for the first half. Everton fans losing their minds over David Moyes’ tactics. Second half, we came alive, pressing the Cottagers into submission. Mykolenko, who is only a little better at football than you are if you are reading this and have a pulse, suddenly turned into prime Roberto Carlos to set up cult-hero Dewsbury-Hall. Then Leno own-goaled us the winner – his second own goal for Everton, which makes him one of our most potent modern scorers. 

The only thing missing was a Moyes knee slide, which he could not do, as he was already banished to the gods of the stadium for his last on-field celly. God bless that man though. To have us eighth with no fullbacks or real striker is a stunning act of leadership. Everton have done the double over just two teams this season: Marco Silva’s Fulham and Sean Dyche’s Forest. Both men, our former managers. Proof that spite is the rocket fuel of human motivation. -RB

Elsewhere in the Premier League: Leeds 3-1 Nottingham Forest, Burnley 0-2 West Ham, Newcastle 2-3 Brentford, Brighton 0-1 Crystal Palace, Bournemouth 1-1 Aston Villa

🇪🇸 La Liga: Football’s Rick and Morty, Robert Lewandowski and Lamine Yamal, each scored their 10th La Liga goal of the season in Barcelona’s 3-0 win against Mallorca to remain ahead of the pack (Yamal’s finish was particularly tasty). Meanwhile at the Mestalla, a Galáctico-shorn Real Madrid won their eighth consecutive La Liga match, beating relegation troublers Valencia 2-0 and keeping themselves a point behind their Catalonian adversaries.

🇮🇹 Serie A: The once competitive complexion of Serie A this season has now dissipated after leaders Inter Milan’s five different goal scorers tormented Sassuolo in a ruthless 5-0 pummeling. Manchester United cover band Napoli beat Genoa 3-2 in injury time after goals from Scott McTominay and Rasmus Højlund, but they remain nine points adrift, while AC Milan trail by eight but have a game in hand over Inter.

More: Juventus picked up a draw to stay fourth with Weston McKennie collecting his seventh goal of the season in the process.

🇩🇪 Bundesliga: After two games without a win, Bayern Munich let off some much-needed steam against in-form Hoffenheim yesterday thanks to a Harry Kane brace and a Luis Díaz hat-trick in a 5-1 demolition. The Colombian now has 30 goal involvements in 30 games for the German giants, what a signing! Serhou Guirassy scored a late winner in Borussia Dortmund’s 2-1 heist at Wolfsburg, meaning they remain six points behind the champions and still alive in the Bundesliga title race.

Chelsea vs. Leeds (Tuesday, 2:30 p.m. ET, Peacock)

It’s been just over two months since Leeds turned over Chelsea 3-1 at Elland Road, which was also a pivotal moment in the demise of Enzo Maresca. Since then, Rosenior’s imbued Chelsea with his motivational podcaster press conferences and tactical nous, while Daniel Farke’s lifted Leeds from the drop zone, losing only two of their last 11 Premier League matches.

West Ham vs. Man United (Tuesday, 2:30 p.m. ET, Peacock)

West Ham are now only three points adrift of Nuno Espírito Santo’s ex Nottingham Forest after beating Burnley on the road at the weekend, meaning the ultimate petty vengeance Premier League campaign is still on. Following another victory on Saturday, Michael Carrick’s reinvigorated United can finally put an end to United Strand’s nightmare if they win their fifth consecutive league match at the London Stadium tomorrow. Get the scissors out! ✂️

Man City vs. Fulham (Wednesday, 2:30 p.m. ET, Peacock)

The reverse of this fixture was a chaotic match-of-the-season contender where City beat Fulham 5-4 at the Cottage, and while no one’s gonna top that, Pep would take a quiet night at the library after yesterday’s epic clash at Anfield. Erling Haaland scored his first in four Premier League games and while Fulham are enjoying the most Fulham of seasons mid-table, their defense is leaky and the Norwegian frontman is hungry.

Sunderland vs. Liverpool (Wednesday, 3:15 p.m. ET, Peacock)

Sunderland’s Stadium of Light is an impenetrable fortress: they’re the only Premier League team to not lose a home game all season, but even the Death Star had a weak spot. However, despite being hammered at the Emirates at the weekend, their confidence may not be as low as Arne Slot’s Liverpool, who yesterday participated in a cinematic classic they picked up no awards for.

Brentford vs. Arsenal (Thursday, 3 p.m. ET, Peacock)

Last but not least in this midweek Premier League feast is Brentford vs. Arsenal, an ominous-looking potential bee sting for Arteta’s champions-elect. In his first managerial post, Keith Andrews’ side have dispatched Villa, United, Liverpool and now Newcastle, often with the help of the lethal feet of Igor Thiago, who’s second in the Premier League with 17 goals.

This week’s question: Since Bruno Fernandes joined Manchester United in January 2020, two players have more Premier League assists than him. Can you name one of them (bonus points for both)?

Email us with your answer for a chance to win a much-coveted MiB patch!

Last week’s winner: Congratulations to Brett Murray, who was the first to correctly answer that Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored a brace when Arsenal beat Chelsea in the 2020 FA Cup final. We also owe an apology to you all, as well as a thanks to Brett, William Lee and Thomas Kwan, who all very politely corrected us because we accidentally wrote that those goals came in the 2019 final 😬. It was a long week at MiB HQ, but we’d be nothing without you, our diligent readers, to keep us on our toes.

🐦‍⬛ We’ll see again you on Thursday. In the meantime, keep sending your stories and questions to [email protected].

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