Hail GFOP!

Rog writes: What madness did we watch this weekend? The Premier League’s version of the perfect episode of television, akin to “Pine Barrens” from “The Sopranos,” “Middle Ground” from “The Wire” or “Rains of Castamere” from “Game of Thrones.” Forty-eight hours of shocks, late goals, and the added boon that Everton did not blight my weekend.

Saturday, Opta revealed, was the first time that each of Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United all lost on the same day in the Premier League since April 16, 1994. So, there was that, but it was more the manner of the losses. Eight goals netted after the 90th minute - the most ever in a single day in the competition's entire history. The size of the rosters, the extreme number of elite game-changers available on the benches, the Premier League scriptwriters either electing to craft plot twist perfection for us, or else they were drunk. 

It matters not, either way. This weekend was jaw dropping and sets up the charge towards Christmas in plot-boiling fashion. Just look at that table. We simply have no idea who is good, who is relegatable (apart from Wolves) or who is for real. 🙃

ii. What a time it must be for Crystal Palace fans. The club was founded in 1861, but there could be few times in their history when the vibes have felt better: second place, a club record 18 games unbeaten. The joy of Eddie Nketiah seizing the moment and finishing a goal that was as big for Arsenal as any he scored while wearing an actual Arsenal jersey. What will grate at Arne Slot is that Palace did exactly what it says on the tin: pressed, harried and stormed forward on the counter. His squad was rattled throughout and unable to summon the coherence to react. I am so happy for the Palace faithful in general and the impregnable, inimitable Chris Richards in particular. Their delirious team are the Premier League's last undefeated force. Oliver Glasner is a genius. Football is amazing. 🦅

iii. Arsenal were as tenacious as Palace were disciplined. Make no mistake, Newcastle made them suffer and made Arteta stare into the abyss. Gabriel was a symbol of the worst of Arsenal. The lack of focus. The hysterical reaction to moments of challenge – his dark arts snidery on Woltemade was not the way. But at the very end, it was he who set-pieced last and set-pieced loudest. I know the Celebration Police will be investigating Arsenal’s subsequent euphoric reaction to the final whistle, but I understood it. Arsenal had exorcised the demons of St. James’ Park which had been their own private hell. They proved themselves to themselves in terms of their title-chasing bona fides, and they are now in possession of the most priceless commodity in football: belief. 💪

iv. Incredible to watch Christian Pulisic in the form of his life. Scored one goal and made another for AC Milan vs. defending champion Napoli. Your Serie A-leading scorer is from Hershey, Pennsylvania. 🔥

v. The personal highlight of the weekend for me: At 1 a.m. Sunday morning, I finished the first draft of my World Cup book I have been working on for the past two and a half years, and handed it in right on deadline. It is a very wild moment when you finish the first draft of a book. Exhaustion. Shock. Relief. Above all, a disbelief that you have been able to pull it off. It has been some journey, and a true joy to write. I sincerely cannot wait for you to read it.

To celebrate, I went out at 6 a.m. Sunday for a long pre-football hike with Martin Scorsese. Hiking is such a new part of my life. I could not exist in this strange world of ours without it. I hike with no headphones, just the hound and me in nature. It is so unbelievably cathartic. The human version of turning a laptop on and off. 🥾

vi. We are off to Seattle this week for our sold-out show. I cannot wait to see you all in that jewel of a city. I want to thank you for all your recommendations on places to eat and buy books. We ready. 🍻

vii. When the Champions League returns this week, come and join us on Discord where we saw, literally, thousands of comments over the past week of games. I’ll be in there, along with all of you, reacting to and breaking down the action in real time. I love it so much, it feels like old football Twitter, before the bots stole it from us. Enjoy football the way it’s meant to be, with friends. 🏆

Courage,
ROG

MiB HQ Bulletin Board 📣

Palace Pull a Liverpool to Best the Reds 🦅

By Tommy Stewart

Crystal Palace 2-1 Liverpool 🔴🔵

Ismaïla Sarr’s opening ninth-minute goal against Liverpool on Saturday was the result of a corner that shouldn’t have been, but then Crystal Palace are probably overdue some good luck. The ball seemed to deflect off Tyrick Mitchell before it went out of play, leaving Arne Slot uncharacteristically furious, providing a sunny Selhurst Park with enough energy to embolden their side go toe to toe with the champions. Liverpool’s 72% possession was ultimately fruitless, because it was Oliver Glasner’s side who took the initiative, persevering with shot after shot on Alisson’s net in the first half, and were it not for a GOAT-tier goalkeeping rap battle between him and Dean Henderson, this game could have been a score fest. Liverpool’s new leading man, Alexander Isak, looked a shadow of the suspended Hugo Ekitike, while Federico Chiesa further elevated his cult hero status with a typically Liverpool 87th-minute goal, but the celebrations were short-lived. Ten minutes later in the dying embers of injury time, former Gunner, Eddie Nketiah, scored his most important goal for his old club, while (temporarily) moving his current one into second in the league.

Crystal Palace Go 18 Unbeaten 📈

Stripped of prize asset, Eberechi Eze, Europa League football, and with wantaway captain Marc Guéhi still stoically leading the team, Glasner is performing miracles at Crystal Palace. In ending Liverpool’s seven-game winning streak, they’ve now gone 18 games unbeaten in all competitions, a run that includes their historic FA Cup win against City and their Community Shield victory on penalties against Slot’s side. They now find themselves third in the league, and while Glasner is the last man to get ideas ahead of his station, based on the football his side are playing, the small silverware collection he’s building, and the fortress Selhurst Park is becoming, there is good reason to believe they can keep competing in the top half of the table while sealing themselves in the hearts of football fans as everyone’s new second-favorite team.

Liverpool’s Leaky Defense 💧

Liverpool’s failure in securing the signature of Guéhi on deadline day looks more ominous and consequential with each game they play. While they’re still top of the league by two points, Slot’s side have been riding their luck with well-fought, late victories amidst end-to-end games of football that have seen them leak goals and test supporters' hearts. They might be stacked up top, but they’re the footballing equivalent of continually skipping leg day, because compared to Arsenal in second and Palace in third, who have each conceded three in the Premier League this season, Liverpool have let in seven. Were it not for the miraculous Alisson between the sticks on Saturday, they could have been punished further. 

Arsenal Go Full Heel at St. James’ Park 😅 

Newcastle 1-2 Arsenal

Nick Pope doesn’t usually beg for leading man status, but for the opening period of this match, he was Leonardo DiCaprio, first somehow keeping Eze out, and then initially giving away a penalty against Viktor Gyökeres that was then correctly rescinded after a VAR review. His early heroics buoyed Newcastle to essentially “do an Arsenal” with a simple training ground corner routine that was planted on the head of German Yao Ming, Nick Woltemade. Pope’s performance continued to be biblical in the second half, and Arsenal, who seemed unshackled, playing more like Arteta’s free-flowing v1.0 version of this side, couldn’t defeat him until they remembered the source of so much of their power via an 84th-minute set piece, finished by makeshift striker, Mikel Merino. Newcastle were aggrieved to not be awarded a penalty when Gabriel hand-balled an Anthony Elanga shot a minute later, but because the ball deflected off his legs before hitting his hand, the referee and VAR made the correct call. The technicalities of the rules did nothing to comfort Eddie Howe though, when in the 96th minute at St. James’ Park, who else but Gabriel himself got out the title race defibrillator, by heading in from a perfect corner.

Chelsea 1-3 Brighton

It was former Seagull (and once British record-signing), Moisés Caicedo, who initiated Chelsea’s first-half opener, which ended with Enzo Fernández heading home and temporarily breaking his side’s troubling run of form. But as has been the case for the Blues of late, their ill discipline hampered their cause, with Trevoh Chalobah the latest player to, in the words of manager Enzo Maresca, “give away a present,” by receiving a red for denying a goalscoring opportunity. Right in front of their traveling support, the gaps created by Chalobah’s absence allowed Fabian Hürzeler’s side to bombard Chelsea with crosses, breaking through with a flying Danny Welbeck header, and then a deserved Maxim De Cuyper injury-time winner. Not satisfied with just the three points against the myriad former Brighton players who now play for the Blues, 34-year-old Welbeck beautifully finished things off with a dinked finish and a shirtless dance that sent a message to their exes that “we’re doing just fine without you.”

Brentford 3-1 Manchester United

It only took eight minutes for a simple long ball to float over and unlock Manchester United’s scattered defensive line, but Igor Thiago still had to work to unleash a devastating left-footed half volley which triggered a fourth wall breaking “I am him” celebration. Soon after, the same methodology was repeated for the Bees’ second, which was gift-wrapped from Altay Bayındır straight to the feet of Thiago, who now free of injury is thriving in the wake of Bryan Mbeumo. Benjamin Šeško knocked on Brentford’s door three times and they eventually answered, allowing the young Slovenian to score his first goal for Ruben Amorim’s side. But it was the one dependable for United, Bruno Fernandes, who missed the chance to claw his side back into the game when they were awarded a 71st-minute penalty. For the second time this season, the Red Devils’ captain was unable to convert from the spot. Brentford added a third in injury time, and for fans of a certain vintage, witnessing United’s capitulation has become akin to watching the Death Star explode in slow motion.

Manchester City 5-1 Burnley

The result is perhaps a skewed reflection of Burnley’s performance at the Etihad, because until the 61st minute, Scott Parker and Pep Guardiola’s sides were all square at 1-1. Even though it’s too soon to truly identify what Pep’s City v3.0 is, their barrage of attacking star power can totally overwhelm, and once Matheus Nunes scored to put the home side up, they decided it was time for a proper party. After a low Nunes cross, Burnley’s Maxime Estève added a second own goal to secure the most unenviable brace, before Erling Haaland said “I’m the captain now,” adding his own injury-time double to extend his lead at the top of the Premier League scoring charts with eight goals. Week by week, Parker is brutally learning that while the bus can be parked in the Premier League, there’s a good chance it will be ruthlessly vandalized without the quality of former keeper James Trafford in goal, who watched on from City’s bench.

Elsewhere in the Premier League: Tottenham 1-1 Wolves, Leeds 2-2 Bournemouth, Nottingham Forest 0-1 Sunderland, Aston Villa 3-1 Fulham

Score Tickets to FIFA World Cup 26™ with Verizon

FIFA World Cup 26™ starts in just 256 days and this is your chance to experience it in all its North American glory, thanks to our friends at Verizon. They’ve teamed up with David Beckham and an all-star roster of talent to launch Verizon Ultimate Access for FIFA World Cup 26™. Verizon customers will have access to thousands of free FIFA World Cup 26™ tickets, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to win “Golden Tickets” for access on the field during game play, meet and greets and more on the road to the tournament. Come make football memories that will last a lifetime.

👉 Switch to Verizon for your chance to score tickets on the first drop Oct. 2!

Some Absolute Weekend Worldies, Presented by New Balance 🚀 🥅

There were a lot of great goals this weekend, but these three get top marks:

On the Continent 🇪🇺

🇮🇹 Serie A: Serie A’s Italian managerial rotation moves swifter than a casual fan can sometimes keep up with, but Massimiliano Allegri’s return to AC Milan after 11 years away feels inspired, with his disciplined and dazzling side now sat top above yesterday’s opponents, Napoli. Their 2-1 Christian Pulisic-inspired victory at the San Siro was much more than the three points it provided; it was a symbolic marker that alerted Antonio Conte’s champions that they have a Scudetto scrap on their hands. Joining them both on 12 points is Gian Gasperini’s Roma, who beat Verona 2-0, while Juventus slipped to fourth after a 1-1 draw with his former side, Atalanta.

🇪🇸 La Liga: With one, brilliant and chaotic win, Diego Simeone’s Atlético Madrid side have thrown a grenade into La Liga’s title race. Their 5-2 victory over neighbors Real Madrid wasn’t just impressive, it totally rocked Xabi Alonso’s side in the same way the USA’s Ryder Cup team were stupefied on Saturday. Before the result, Los Blancos had won six in six but not only has this sparked a vague semblance of a title challenge from Atleti–led by a man who’s scored five in the last two, Julián Alvarez–but it also puts Barcelona top after their 2-1 victory against Real Sociedad at the Estadi Olímpic Lluís Companys.

🇩🇪 Bundesliga: Harry Kane bagged another brace in Bayern’s 4-0 home win against Werder Bremen, taking him to 10 Bundesliga goals in five games so far this season and 100 goals in only 104 games for the Bavarian giants. They remain top, but two points behind in close touching distance are Niko Kovač’s Borussia Dortmund, who have quietly won four consecutive matches with their own striker, Serhou Guirassy, averaging a goal per game.

Mid-Week Matches Worth Faking a Meeting for 📺

Everton vs. West Ham (TODAY, 3 p.m. ET, USA)

The Premier League’s managerial circus is in full swing and we’re not even into October yet, as Nuno Espírito Santo tries his hand as West Ham manager. It’s serendipitous that his opposite number today will be David Moyes, a man who like Vincent van Gogh, was not truly appreciated in his time, but life without him for Hammers fans now is like missing an ear. He’s calmly shepherded the Toffees into their new Hill Dickinson Stadium, which thanks to magic Jack Grealish, already feels like home. A win against this drowning West Ham side, who should be tougher to break down under Nuno as opposed to face-swap Graham Potter, puts them level with City and above Chelsea, which isn’t a bad place to be.

Chelsea vs. Benfica (Tuesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

The custody for José Mourinho ladder match is finally here, as the now normal one embarks on his revenge tour against some of the exes who have previously wronged him (he’s coming for you too, Real Madrid). Chelsea fans adore the Portuguese manager, who’s so far won twice and drawn once on his return to Benfica, but on their current run of poor form, they’ll be hoping to give their former king a sad return to his old Stamford Bridge castle. Mourinho couldn’t help but smile when he was told that Cole Palmer would miss this UCL matchup through injury, but the home team’s stacked squad means his absence is an opportunity for one of many, many midfielders to come in and stretch their legs.

Galatasaray vs. Liverpool (Tuesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

When Galatasaray fans say “Welcome to Hell” to visiting European titans, they mean it, and although Arne Slot’s known for his chill, he will surely feel the fire in the RAMS Park Inferno on Tuesday. They’re a fabled fantasy side of former greats and nearly men, including Victor Osimhen, Leroy Sané and İlkay Gündoğan, and with the comfort of leading the Turkish Süper Lig at a stroll, all their fire and brimstone can be focused on the Champions League. Liverpool may welcome Hugo Ekitike back into their side after he was missed at their defeat at the weekend, but it’ll be their fragile defense that will feel the most fire in this one. 

Some Non-Football to Start the Week Off 📖

• Is a memory palace actually useful? I've got more of a memory shack at the mo.

• If you're doing Fat Bear Week IRL: I'm a Certified Bear Guide, and Here's Where I Go for Prime Bear Viewing. 

• Pinball Is Getting Too Fancy. If it's not a Garbage Pail Kids-themed machine with buttons too sticky to work, I'm not interested. 

• Color Theory: The Bright, Cavernous Technicolor of P.T. Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love. Upcoming sequels could take note 👀.

• "The second time I ever came out as trans, it was in an Arby’s drive-through in Alberta on a flip-phone in the height of the oil boom.” Damn it Johnny, you know I love my Big Beef N Cheddar.

It’s MiB Trivia Time 🤔

This week’s question: Which Atlético Madrid player is now joint with Sergio Ramos to have made the most appearances of all time in the Madrid derby?

Email us with your answer for a chance to win a much-coveted MiB patch!

Last week’s winner: Congratulations to Steve Caccavale, who was the first to correctly answer that “Braveheart” won best picture at the Oscars the last time Nottingham Forest were playing European football. It was March 1996 and their opponents were Bayern Munich! The patch is in the post, Steve 🚚

Seeking impartial news? Meet 1440.

Every day, 3.5 million readers turn to 1440 for their factual news. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you a complete summary of politics, global events, business, and culture, all in a brief 5-minute email. Enjoy an impartial news experience.

Join for free today!