What a weekend. I watched 14 FA Cup fourth round games and pretended to enjoy their Splenda™. Arsenal’s quadruple still lives and breathes, and it was humanly rewarding to see Eberechi Eze soar again – gent turns into Ronaldinho in the FA Cup. Liverpool unleashed some sensual football and Mo Salah came alive. Those two giants Manchester City and Wrexham also romped. The real action was happening at Tottenham Hotspur who have a new bald dad, Igor Tudor. Forest too have a new, new, new, new gaffer, Vítor Pereira of “Points and Pints” fame. 

On Eze: I am thrilled we are launching our long interview with him, in which he and I play chess. Ignore who wins and revel in the tenacity of his storytelling. It drops on YouTube on Feb. 19. 

In a football world where the truly elite action is happening around Manchester United’s haircut boy, or Brighton’s seagull mask-wearing fan – when everything is just reduced to content – the FA Cup is just lesser content. It is not bad, but just not elite, and this weekend felt a little dozy. 🥱

Also, read this: Incredible writing on Spurs from Barney Ronay. 🤍

And: This is elite journalism with a hard J. 💯

ii. I opened a carton of my book for the first time this weekend. It was very moving, like having a child – a child made of paper. So many people have worked so hard on this bad boy. It is very beautiful to hold. If you want to be super-duper World Cup ready, I wrote this book for you. Pre-order it now, and I will send you signed stuff. (I spent a lot of time this weekend grinding away with a Sharpie in hand…) 📚

iii. The best goal you might’ve missed from the weekend: Brazilian legend Hulk is still knocking in worldies from distance at 39 years old. When’s he gonna shoot from the center circle though? 🇧🇷

Our other top contender: Behold this ridiculous overhead kick from Leicester City’s Oliver Skipp. Gent’s only 5’9”, but looks like he could dunk. 🚲

iv. I am off to the UK this week to film with a Liverpool player and anime obsessive I have been looking forward to spending time with. We then head to Los Angeles for an appearance Friday night. The show I am really looking forward to, however, is in Houston on March 4. The iconic Hakeem Olajuwon – a massive football fan – will be joining me and JJ Watt on stage. Tickets here. 🚀

v. Last week, we released a joyful conversation with the absolutely football-mad (and fellow NBA hall of famer) Steve Nash, thanks to our good friends at Coca-Cola. We relived arguably the greatest final ever: Argentina vs. France in 2022 – the last, epic chapter of the greatest sporting event in the world. Watch it all now, and be sure to check out Coca-Cola's Most Valuable Fan contest for a chance to win a bunch of great prizes, including tickets to this summer’s World Cup. More details here. 🏆

Courage,
ROG

PS - If you had “sentient pie vs. dinosaur” penalty kicks on your bingo card for the weekend, well, we have great news for you. 😂

By Tommy Stewart

Liverpool 3-0 Brighton 

Anfield felt somewhere close to last season’s immaculate vibes on Saturday when Milos Kerkez crossed for Curtis Jones to finish some fullback on fullback action just before half time. Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to give flowers to your loved ones, and it wasn’t long ago that Liverpool fans thought Mohamed Salah might be the one who got away, but his deft touch to assist yet another Dominik Szoboszlai rocket was a reminder of his enduring quality. It was a gift from one of the all-time GOATs of this storied club to its current main pin up, but the legend was soon rewarded by winning and finishing a penalty to seal his sixth goal contribution since returning from AFCON. It seemed set in stone that Salah would leave Liverpool in January, but Anfield’s serenade when he was substituted on Saturday, was a reminder of love’s ever changing moods. 

Aston Villa 1-3 Newcastle 

When Alfredo said to Toto in Cinema Paradiso, “Don’t give into nostalgia”, he clearly couldn’t foresee Tammy Abraham’s return to Aston Villa after seven years away, where he opened the scoring and dominated Newcastle in the meatiest tie of the fourth round. When Unai Emery said “Marco Bizot” he clearly couldn’t foresee his backup goalkeeper’s head loss when he scissor tackled Jacob Murphy to see red and hand the Magpies an avenue back into the match. VAR enthusiasts were emboldened after a clear penalty for a Lucas Digne handball was given as a free kick that Sandro Tonali eventually punished nonetheless, and in almost the exact same spot outside the box just 13 minutes later, the Italian put his side ahead to cap off his masterclass. Nick Woltemade received a generous 24th birthday present from Villa’s defense, capitalizing on some sloppy passing to put the gift wrapping on a classic FA Cup comeback.

Arsenal 4-0 Wigan 

Yesterday’s painted pair of assists for Noni Madueke and Gabriel Martinelli, were a reminder of Eberechi Eze’s singular footballing wizardry. An unfortunate Jack Hunt own goal and a cute Gabriel Jesus dink buried League Two Wigan before half time, keeping Mikel Arteta’s army marching on four fronts as they chase a famous quadruple. Eze looked unshackled yesterday, particularly in tandem with Madueke, with whom he enjoyed a Lennon and McCartney-esque creative partnership that seemed to deem them greater than the sum of their parts.

Hull 0-4 Chelsea

In the custody of Liam Rosenior ladder match, the former Hull player and manager showed no mercy on his return to East Yorkshire. A gorgeous first Pedro Neto hat-trick, that included a bizarre nutmegged Olimpico, was complemented with a straightforward finish for wunderkind Estêvão, further silencing the “LinkedIn Liam” labelling of Rosenior, who’s now won eight in 11 in charge of Chelsea.

Manchester City 2-0 Salford 

Just over a year ago, Manchester City violently shredded Salford open 8-0 in the FA Cup, so for their Greater Manchester neighbors to be entering the game’s final 10 minutes only 1-0 down at the Etihad on Saturday, was chasmic progress. But just 35 days after captaining Crystal Palace to a historic knockout to Macclesfield in this competition, Marc Guéhi saved himself and City from embarrassment with his first goal for the club, dumping the League Two outfit out with a late tap-in.

Wrexham 1-0 Ipswich 

It felt serendipitous that on the week of the fifth anniversary of Ryan Reynolds and Rob Mac’s Wrexham takeover, the club reached the fifth round of the FA Cup for the first time in 29 years. After a Josh Windass goal sealed a 1-0 win against Championship promotion rivals Ipswich on Friday, manager Phil Parkinson said his side have grown “greedy” for more historic nights at STōK Cae Ras, where despite the North Wales winter cold, it’s seemingly always sunny. 

More: The fifth round draw for the oldest trophy in world football takes place today. Find out more and see who remains in the knockout competition. 

Elsewhere in the FA Cup: Burton Albion 0-1 West Ham, Burnley 1-2 Mansfield Town, Southampton 2-1 Leicester, Birmingham 1-1 Leeds (Leeds won 4-2 on penalties), Oxford United 0-1 Sunderland, Stoke City 1-2 Fulham, Norwich City 3-1 West Brom

🇪🇸 La Liga: Real Madrid smothered Real Sociedad 4-1 to go top of La Liga thanks to a Vinícius Júnior brace that Kylian Mbappé watched from the bench, adding further suspicion that like Bart Simpson and Principal Skinner, the two are more comfortable as competitors than teammates. Trent Alexander-Arnold was back to his sniper-eyed best, assisting a goal in his first start since suffering a hamstring injury in early December, as the pressure turns to a wounded Barcelona, who travel to Catalonian compatriots Girona today.

🇮🇹 Serie A: Christian Chivu may remember Saturday night’s five-star classic Derby d’Italia as the moment his team secured Scudetto, but Luciano Spalletti and Juventus might feel like victims of a sinister hit job after Pierre Kalulu was sent off for two silk-soft yellow cards. An injury-time Piotr Zieliński banger stole a 3-2 victory for the Nerazzurri while AC Milan completed their own heist when Luka Modrić won it late at Pisa, leaving them eight points behind their little brothers with a game in hand.

🇩🇪 Bundesliga: Harry Kane scored his 500th career goal on Saturday, taking him to 41 for the season after his brace secured Bayern Munich’s 3-0 win at Werder Bremen. The England captain’s Terminator-vision for goals has hit frightening new heights this season, and while Borussia Dortmund remain six points behind the champions after beating Mainz 4-0 on Saturday, if Kane keeps fit, it’s Bayern’s title to lose.

Girona vs. Barcelona (TODAY, 3 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

Hansi Flick must quickly reassemble the pieces of his shattered Barcelona, who were viciously dissected in a 4-0 humiliation at the hardened hands of Atletico Madrid in the Copa del Rey semi-final last week. Their maestro Raphinha has missed all six of their losses this season, so his return to training on Friday offers a better chance of leapfrogging Madrid and burying the memory of Flick’s worst ever loss at Barca.

Macclesfield vs. Brentford (TODAY, 2:30 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

After non-league Macclesfield pulled off the Giant Killing to end all Giant Killings when they dispatched holders Crystal Palace in the third round, their apex may already have been reached, but their threadbare, makeshift stadium will be louder than a Metallica gig as they welcome Brentford tonight. One hundred and twenty two places divides John Rooney’s Silkmen and Keith Andrews’ buzzing bees, who are seventh in the Premier League and will feel they can “do a Palace” and win their first ever major trophy in this tournament.

Benfica vs. Real Madrid (Tuesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

It’s ‘Benfica vs. Madrid II: Electric Boogaloo’ starring wily José Mourinho and his former apprentice, Álvaro Arbeloa, and surely the sequel cannot live up to the original. Whether serendipity or a sick joke has reunited them doesn’t really matter, but amidst friction within the Madrid camp, a revenge kill and UCL progression is compulsory for Los Blancos.

More: Will Mbappé be ready to face Benfica?

Wolves vs. Arsenal (Wednesday,  3 p.m. ET, Peacock Premium)

Wolves are whimpering out of the Premier League so they shouldn’t sink their teeth into Arsenal, who are still fighting on four fronts but now only lead Manchester City in second by four points. Mikel Arteta’s men were ultimately lucky to escape West London neighbors Brentford with a point last week, so they must harness the magic of their FA Cup recovery to keep the bridesmaid wolf at the door.

This week’s question: Who took the double touch penalty in last year’s UCL play-offs that resulted in a law change across football?

Email us with your answer for a chance to win a much-coveted MiB patch!

Last week’s winner: Congratulations to Michael Buist who was the first to correctly answer that Mo Salah and Kevin De Bruyne are the only two players with more assists than Bruno Fernandes since he joined the Premier League in January 2020. Your patch is in the post, Michael 📬

🐦‍⬛ We’ll see you on TK. In the meantime, keep sending your stories and questions to [email protected].

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