Title Race Surges Forward 🔵🔴🏆

I type with fingers crackling with excitement for all that is to come. The Title Race! The Relegation Knife Fight played out by Prison Rules! Everton Living the Dream by having nothing to play for! Bring. It. On. We break everything down you need to prepare below. 

ii. Two moments have pierced my soul this week. The first. The passing of the writer and man of letters, Paul Auster at the age of 77. A gent who was literary Brooklyn personified. A romantic, warm, prolific, creative, chainsmoking novelist who was both hyper-local and globally revered. Auster was massive in France. His self-styled suave was very, very Left-Bank.  

I met Paul a couple of times. He was one of those very open gents who made you feel like you had known each other forever, and were mid-conversation at very first meeting, which I loved, as one of his books is very central in my own life. In January 1979, Auster’s father Samuel, passed away, a moment which became the inspiration for the writer’s first memoir, The Invention of Solitude, published in 1982. It has become a book that I routinely buy for any friend who loses their own parent. I have to confess. The slim volume is actually two books in one, and I don’t fully understand the second essay. It is way over my head. But the first is beautiful. A meditation on life, death, and memory, asking how much we really know of even those closest to us by blood, and how that shapes us. There is a line I love as it makes so clear how time is so immensely precious: “I always sense the future, the antithesis of everything is always before my eyes. I have never seen a child without thinking that it would grow old, nor a cradle without thinking of a grave. The sight of a naked woman makes me imagine her skeleton.” 

One more on Auster. Here’s his incredible advice to young writers which is must-watch video: “Don’t be a writer. It is a terrible way to live your life. There is nothing to be gained from it but poverty, obscurity, and solitude. So if you have a taste for all those things, which means you are really are burning to do it, go ahead and do it. But don’t expect anything from anyone.” Which is pretty much what I say to new American football fans who ask me if they should support Everton. 

iii. A second moment that shook me this week. Not a passing, but profound, nonetheless. The news that Kelley O’Hara will retire at the end of the season. Kelley is an American original. A human being who always takes the field with an unapologetic all-in total domination swagger, that is the best of the American game. Before the 2019 World Cup, I spent the day with Kelley and her family at her home in Peachtree City, Ga., making a film about her early days — the friends, teachers, and coaches in her hometown who made her the force of nature she is today. All of them told a similar story. Of a sweet-natured but competitive human being who was transformed the moment she took the field. Her Mom described it best. That the second she saw Kelley bare her teeth— her family called it “her fangs” — she knew she was poised to smite all-comers and that the game was over. From the very beginning, young Kelley attacked every opponent with the same relentless ferocity we have come to learn she both shotguns a beer or attacks an apple in the locker room post World Cup victory. Proof? 

During the pandemic, I did weekly Happy Hour conversations with different USWNT players every Wednesday night. They were hilarious conversations featuring questions sent in by fans. One question that we posed every week, was “Which US player would you want by your side if you are in a barfight?” Every single player chose Kelley. 

Yesterday’s news that this season will be Kelley’s last is no surprise. But the sadness with which it has been received speaks volumes. Kelley’s achievements are peerless. But all of us who love the game in the United States have to hope in this moment of generational change, that her spirit of unshakable confidence and tenacity carries on. To Kelley, with love, and thanks. And the knowledge that she of all people will finish strong. 🇺🇸🏆💙❤️💪

iv. I am elated Erling Haaland is coming on the show. Let me know what questions you have for the Nordic Meat Shield. 🇳🇴🥩

PS. Please listen to my conversation with Wrexham icon Super Paul Mullin. He is my Dad’s favorite footballer. You listen to him talk about this moment in his career and you can understand why. 

2. To the Football

i. Arsenal vs. Bournemouth (Saturday, 7.30 AM ET, USA)

A year to the day a shellshocked Arsenal conceded to then relegation-threatened Cherries within nine seconds, and needed a 97th minute Reiss Nelson goal to eke out victory from a 2-0 deficit, and hold onto the pretense of a title charge. The two teams meet again, Bournemouth a different proposition under Andoni Iraola, Arteta’s childhood friend and former teammate. Arsenal are top of the table, and fresh-off North London Derby glory. They know Bournemouth have just one win in 15 meetings against them. Let’s hope poor Cherries keeper Mark Travers is prepared for the next level diabolical shithousery Ben White has been preparing to unleash upon him. Brace yourself for a Vampire Wedgie, Man! A wedgie applied with the teeth. Hope Kills, Arsenal fans. Hope kills.

More: Secrets of Arsenal set-pieces. Plays ripped from NFL

ii. Manchester City vs. Wolves (Saturday 12.30 PM ET, NBC Proper)

Neutrals take hope: Wolves won the reverse fixture in September, 2-1. When the man whom Pep had referred to as “The Korean Guy,” Hwang-Hee Chan ended City’s perfect start. How different the world feels now. City are second place, one point back, with a crucial game in hand, and the title in their hands. Unbeaten in 31, this team appear able to dig deep when they need to and win, almost by habit. Can Wolves do the double? Well, Rodri was not playing in the last game. He will be tomorrow. 

iii. Liverpool vs. Tottenham (Sunday, 11.30 AM ET, P’Cock)

After the agony of dropping points in four of their last five Premier League games, and Salah and Klopp beefing on the sidelines last weekend (“completely resolved”), Liverpool’s Last Dance has become a Last Trance. Fellow free-fall flailers, Tottenham arrive for Klopp’s penultimate Anfield game (funny, this) after being shredded by Chelsea last night. They have lost three straight, and worse – Dortmund's midweek Champions League win over PSG snatched the extra CL place for Germany, meaning the Premier League has just 4 Willy Wonka Golden Tickets for next year’s tournament. The sad truth for Spurs fans, heightened by the team’s opening 10-game unbeaten run: since then they've won as many games as they've lost. There has been a total solar eclipse more recently than a Spurs win. 

More: Do Son, Salah and Kim show damage mid-season tournaments can bring? Leading players have not been at their usual club levels since going to the Asian Cup or Africa Cup of Nations.

And, on a personal note: A ceremony will be held at the gravestone of Hillsborough campaigner Dan Kay this weekend. Dan was my cousin. He was an immensely sweet man who loved the city of Liverpool and its football team. May his memory be a blessing to all who knew him. He died too young.

iv. Brighton vs. Aston Villa (Saturday, 10 AM ET, USA)

Can Villa fend off the hangover of a stunning 4-2 home loss to Olympiakos amidst stirring scenes last night? Brighton could be akin to Alka-Seltzer. A team who have not won in two months, that the Villians beat 6-1 in the reverse fixture. De Zerbi’s sideburns seem simmering as he admits his team, bereft by injuries, are “spending a tough moment.” Villa may find their Conference League final dreams are beyond them. But locking down 4th place and a Champions League place would be perfect Hair of the Dog. 

More: If De Zerbi leaves, Brighton looking at Ipswich’s young tactical genius Kieran McKenna, even if Ipswich come up.

v. Luton vs. Everton (THIS AFTERNOON, 3 PM ET, P’Cock) 

The ultimate luxury: An Everton game that deliciously means absolutely nothing? No anger-watching. No existential fear. No need of the adult diapers. I honestly did not dream we would ever see such a thing again in my lifetime. What exactly am I meant to do with my hands? Luton however, are very much imperiled. Bless. A result that will not be determined by data, tactics, nor systems. But whether Sean Dychy wears his track suit or not. GFOP @1BenjaminLandry asked the big technical question: Does the relegation-defying power of Dyche’s tracksuit dissipate if washed?

More: An incredible piece on the peculiar pleasures of Everton fandom: I Love Rooting For These Pieces Of Shit. Sent to me by GFOP Barbara Warren 

AND: Complete Weekend Premier League Broadcast Schedule here 📺

ALSO: Keep an eye on Championship Promotion Battle: This Saturday marks the end of the 23/24 Championship regular season. QPR’s shock 4-0 win over Leeds last Friday confirmed Jamie Vardy and Leicester City will return to the Premier League just one season after being relegated, while Keiran Mckenna’s Ipswich go into their match with 23rd-placed Huddersfield Town in pole position for the second automatic promotion spot. Three points below Ipswich, Leeds are not mathematically out of automatic qualification, but are likely to join Southampton in the playoffs, along with either Norwich, West Brom, or Hull, depending on Saturday’s results. 

HEY: DALLAS GFOPs: I am coming to your city. Send me your tips on where I should eat and what I should see in your amazing city. 🛢️🇺🇸

2. More Football, Did Ya Say?

i. Prospect of games in the United States is the subject of frenzied debate. The heated fault line of local vs. global, tradition vs. new markets. 

ii. I loved this thread of footballers who have appeared in movies. Zidane 💀

iii. “Ryan Reynolds never had to deal with this…” The plight of Southend United shows what life is really like in the National League. Sent by GFOP Mike Rose who says, “See, some teams are worse than Everton.” 

iv. New footballer loved-up reality show: Love Undercover in which five international footballers – including Ryan Babel! And Jamie O’Hara! – search for love in Los Angeles, stripped of the help of their fame and fortune. Via the GFOPs at Peacock. Debuts next Thursday, May 9. Trailer Here.

Prize Picks. Best PP Since Parker Posey

Charlie Kipp Writes: Only three more Premier League match weeks left in the season means only three more chances to fire up a PrizePicks entry and add some bonus intrigue to your sports-watching experience… or does it? Not at all. One of my favorite parts of the amazing PrizePicks platform is the depth of the variety they offer in the sporting world, from hockey to basketball to eSports, when you’re looking for that diamond in the rough - there’s nothing you can’t find on PrizePicks. Speaking of diamonds in the rough, our pick this week involves a player who is just that: March’s Premier League Player of the Month, Rodrigo Muniz - who we like to get MORE than three Shots this Saturday.

If you asked a Fulham supporter like, for example, me, this past Fall what the club should do at striker in the wake of ex-club legend Aleksandar Mitrovic throwing a temper tantrum and demanding a move (that was ultimately agreed) to the Saudi League - to most, the answer would have been obvious: “Use the Mitro money and buy a replacement!” Yet… Enter Rodrigo Muniz, a 22 year old striker from Belo Horizonte, Brazil. Muniz had struggled initially. The change in culture, climate and language was a lot to handle for a then-teenager so Fulham took the natural action step to help a young Brazilian struggling with the English language, culture and climate: Loan him to Sunderland! While the loan spell didn’t go swimmingly, Muniz grew as a player and became part of the Fulham periphery until his number was ultimately called this February and he delivered. Eight unexpected goals in eight remarkable matches (capped off by a late equalizing scissor kick vs Sheffield United) landed him two things: a PL Player of the Month Award and the permanent role as Fulham striker of the future. Mitro, who? FFC face West London rivals Bentford this Saturday at 10am on Peacock where I expect this young man to do the only thing he can to further endear himself to the Fulham faithful: Pepper the net of their biggest rival. Rodrigo Muniz MORE than three Shots.

If you haven’t joined PrizePicks, CLICK HERE and use code MiB for a first deposit match up to $100.

3. Europa, Europa 🇮🇹🇳🇱

AC Milan look to seal second place Sunday, as they travel to (a 777 owned) Genoa side guaranteed to finish midtable (12 p.m. ET, Paramount +). With manager Stefano Pioli likely to leave at season’s end, all eyes will be on rumored crowd protests over his possible replacement.

PS. Godspeed to Como who can lock up promotion to Serie A on Sunday if results go their way. What an incredible story. 

b. PSV lost Sergino Dest as the USMNT full back confirmed he has torn his ACL and will miss this Summer’s Copa America. His PSV side will surely end the least exciting title race of all time by finally securing the Eredivisie trophy. They host 8th placed Sparta Rotterdam Sunday, (6.15 a.m. ET, ESPN +) in a game likely to feature Dest’s USMNT teammate Malik Tillman in the starting lineup. 

4. Wrexham poised to take on Vegas 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇲🇽

As the Wrexham team go to Vegas 2: Electric Boogaloo, there may be a Mexican Welcome To Wrexham spinoff in the works. News broke this week that Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney have joined fellow celeb-turned-football investor (and Men In Blazers guest) Eva Longoria, by investing in Liga MX club Necaxa. The Aguascalientes-based side currently sit 10th in Liga MX, and seem perfectly primed for the Wrexham treatment. A team propelled by memories of their title-winning form of the 1990s. Television show has to be in the making. 

More: Rumors of “55,000 seater-stadium” in Wrexham’s future.

5. The Women’s Game 

a. The KC Current lead the pack on 15 points and a game in hand going into this weekend’s NWSL matches. They travel away from the CPKC stadium Sunday to the Houston Dash (1 p.m. ET, CBS) who are winless in their last three. 

b. Meanwhile in the WSL…after Chelsea’s shock loss to Liverpool midweek, future USWNT coach Emma Hayes conceded the title to rivals Man City, who now sit atop the WSL six points ahead of the Blues, who have played a game less. With recent losses in the Champions League, FA Cup, and League Cup, it appears the WSL script writers have joined their Premier League counterparts in forgoing a romantic ending for a departing legend.

More: How the NWSL became the world’s most innovative league.

6. This Week at MiB World HQ

David Silva’s height with Beto’s work rate…

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 FRESH OUT THE OVEN, A POD WITH WREXHAM STAR STRIKER PAUL MULLIN. LISTEN HERE. The latest episode of our “This Week in Wrexham” Podcast series, Presented by the GFOPs at STōK Cold Brew Coffee. And we are your one-stop shop for all things Wrexham as Season 3 of “Welcome to Wrexham” kicks off. The entire back catalog of our Podcasts with the likes of Rob McElhenney, manager Phil Parkinson and Super Rosie Hughes is available HERE. And you can relive the magical Welsh club’s entire season, game-by-game via our Wrexham Correspondent Tomi “Cheese” Lewis. The latest episode goes inside Wrexham’s final home game, which includes a visit from Rob himself. WATCH HERE. 

🇺🇸 Massive week on VAMOS with Herc Gomez, Presented by Michelob Ultra as Daryl Dike checked in with a detail about the savage recovery process from his second ACL Injury. LISTEN HERE. Also, which one of the USMNT strikers DD is calling when we need a goal. WATCH HERE. 

💪 Another incredible week for Sam Mewis and her team at The Women’s Game. Tuesday, they dropped a joy-packed episode of Good Vibes FC with co-host Lynn Williams (WATCH HERE | LISTEN HERE) and yesterday saw the release of Sam’s chat with former teammate and WSL frontrunner Alex Greenwood (WATCH HERE | LISTEN HERE)

✨ And this week’s Champions League semi finals meant a double dose of Continental coverage. Tuesday’s European Nights with Rory Smith explored Dortmund’s alchemy to reach this stage of the competition. And then, wouldn’t you know it, that Dortmund team went on to defeat PSG in the first leg Wednesday, a game we broke down with The Athletic’s James Horncastle on a very special Do it Live! WATCH HERE

Coming up tomorrow on our YouTube… that great Scouse American Antonee Robinson joins us. SUBSCRIBE HERE to be notified when it goes live. 

Not Football, and All the Better for It

i. Photographer accidentally snaps photo of ultra-rare bird, becomes inadvertent hero and envy of America’s birder community.

ii. Long overdue: Ravioli’s Day of Reckoning Has Arrived.

iii. All Hail Rick Steves. Although I disagree with the idea that you DON'T need to pack 15 pairs of underwear for an overnight trip. You never know!!!

iv. Rebel against The Algorithm. Get a library card. Viva la Library!

v. All the worst aspects of American sports on display here: A racial slur and a Fort Myers High baseball team torn apart.

vi. This is beautiful: Farewell, and Thanks, to a Man Who Kept Kids Safe. 

vii. The unexpected joy of the Squirrel Census. I won't sleep until there's also a Chipmunk Caucus and a Groundhog Council.

viii. A ‘Skate Migration’ Is Changing How Atlanta Rolls. Come for the story, stay for the photos. I am headed to Atlanta soon. I wish I could rollerskate.

ix. Why Your Vet Bill Is So High. Just ordered my dog and I matching "I Hate Big Vet" shirts. 

x. The new Olipop Barbie flavor is selling faster than eggs. That headline.

xi. I can’t wait to watch this television show.

xii. I love this song and it helped me through the week: $10 Cowboy by Charley Crockett. “I’m only a maaaaaannnnnnnnnnn”.

Finally, I cannot tell you how happy I am to see the iconic Jim’s South Street reopen after a devastating fire that shuttered the legendary joint in July 2022. I adore the city of Philadelphia. We have loved playing shows down there. It has not felt like a true trip to the place, without some of their life-changing wonder. I have to pop down to that magical kingdom in two weeks time and cannot wait to utter “Whiz Wit'.” May we all be reborn from ashes and fire, like the mighty Jim’s. To joy, to wonder. Let’s not take a second of watching football together for granted this weekend. 

To better days ahead for all.

Big Love.

Courage.

ROG