🚨Breaking News: Trent leaves Liverpool to join Real Madrid 🚨

It’s official, Trent Alexander-Arnold will walk alone and head to Madrid at the end of the season. The inevitable news that the Scouse-born and bred lad, who reinvented the fullback position with the passing range of his hero Steven Gerrard, will leave his hometown club after 20 years comes as no surprise, but still feels surreal. The Champions’ comedown will be hitting home hard now, but in the words of our own Rory Smith, the two-time Premier League, and Champions League, winner “has done more than enough to warrant a proper goodbye.” We’ll have more coverage of Trent’s decision later today on the pod, so be sure to check that out this afternoon. And now, to the weekend of football.

Hail GFOP!  

Hello from Liverpool where I came to spend some time with my family, attend my dad’s gravestone unveiling, and also side-quest back to Goodison one last time. The two events were profound and emotionally connected, and there were a lot of tears at both. Goodison’s last ever 3 p.m. kick-off was an ecstatic experience. One hundred and thirty three years in that grand, old, raggedy home and it is the passion of the fans that has kept it afloat. I had a chat with one of the club’s stewards ahead of the game, he laughed that he expects “40,000 seats to leave the ground at the final whistle of the last game.” 

It was special for me to spend some time with Leighton Baines after the game. Anyone who saw him play knows what a soulful, cultured man he is. He was actually my father’s favorite player of the modern period and he is going to make a fine, fine coach one day – I can actually see him in MLS. Gent loves America. In that regard, I was really moved to see and meet so many American Blues over here. Fans from Denver, Arkansas, Philly, Columbus, and more. We need to organize a real trip to visit the new stadium together.  

After the game, I was able to walk on the hallowed turf of Goodison on my own. I am not a very spiritual man, but it was an incredibly moving experience. To walk on the earth which Everton players have trodden on since 1892, 11 years before the Wright Brothers took flight. I thought about 60-goalscoring giant Dixie Dean whom my grandfather would tell me stories of seeing. The Holy Trinity of Alan Ball, Colin Harvey, and Howard Kendall whom my dad savored. And all the men I have revered and enjoyed: Bob Latchford, Adrian Heath, Neville Southall, Graeme Sharpe, Baines, Tony Hibbert, Wayne Rooney, Seamus Coleman, Tommy Gravesen, that mad man Fellaini, Big Rom, Richarlison, Jordan Pickford, and more. I walked on that holy turf and summoned so many memories, both personal and collective, and was left with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the passion of the fans with whom I have shared that sacred footballing communion. And that is the one thing that won’t change as we charge towards new beginnings. 

ii. Yesterday was my dad’s unveiling, a day of memory and closure. I have written a lot about my dad over the past few years. He very much completed life, in that he worked hard, loved being with his family, and spent a lot of time pursuing his passions, be it hill cycling, wine connoisseuring, or Everton Football Club. Today was very much a reflection of him – a jovial, warm, reflective time, with a touch of whisky woven in. It was also about my mum, and those left behind. A moment of healing, and a spur to find meaning and purpose with what we have left. A reminder that all of us have precious limited time, the imperative is to make the most of every second.

iii. I am thrilled for Harry Kane. English people love being able to laugh at success and to bring others down in moments of wonder and point out the negative. Harry Kane has been a victim of that as much as anyone I have ever seen. For 15 seasons, all he has done is score goals – that despite being tarred with the “one season wonder” slander for what felt like at least four or five seasons. The joy fans derived from his inability to win a trophy – as a living, breathing brand extension of Spursiness itself – was remarkable to witness. Today he won the Bundesliga. His first social media post – the trophy emoji and the trophy emoji only – should win the Pulitzer Prize for poetry. I am beyond elated for him. Tenacity-wise, this is a triumph of the spirit.

Courage,

ROG

Chelsea Keep Pace with a Big Win Over the Champs 🥶

- Written by Tommy Stewart

Chelsea 3-1 Liverpool

Chelsea’s win against a clearly (and understandably) hungover Liverpool is their third on the trot, while it’s only the Champions’ third Premier League loss of the season and their first by more than one goal. Arne Slot’s side received a reluctant guard of honor at Stamford Bridge, but that gesture was soon a memory, as Enzo Fernández opened the scoring within 15 minutes by finishing off a move from Cole Palmer. Everything divine moved through Chelsea’s number 20 on Sunday, who hit the post not long before Big Virg’s late header had the Bridge sweating. But it was the 95 minutes of prime Palmer poetry that preceded his last-minute penalty that were the true beauty of Chelsea’s 3-1 win over the Reds.

More: Hear Trent Alexander-Arnold explain his decision in his own words.

Ice-Cold Palmer Returns

Before yesterday, the Mancunian-meme lord who paints masterpieces with his feet, Cole Palmer, hadn’t scored since January 14. To see such a confident king lose some of his swag over the past five months has been sad, because he’s the sort of rare individualist we watch this silly sport for. Cole is football’s Oscar Wilde, MF DOOM, or Picasso: someone in their own lane who does things no one else would think of because it’s simply a compulsion, his natural art. The penalty was casual, but in an interview with Sky Sports after the match, the always-candid, never afraid Wythenshawe boy was anything but when he said, “Social media’s full of idiots. I don’t pay no attention to that,” for once exposing some vulnerability, even in his defiance. Here’s to more Palmer Picassos to finish off the season.

Maresca’s Bizarre First Year at the Bridge

For a manager who’s spent five months being maligned by both pundits and his own fans, Enzo Maresca has Chelsea right where they should probably be with three games left in the campaign. He might lack the cuddly calm of Arne Slot, the zany mad-scientist energy of Thomas Frank, and the perfectly still Lego-hair of Mike Arteta, but to be in the season’s fading coals and have Chelsea in the Conference League semi-final, while on firm ground in the chase for Champions League spots, is a fine achievement. Maresca had to graduate quickly from the Championship, working under a maverick Dr. Evil-esque figure in Todd Boehly, and it cannot be easy having to be so brutal in distributing and chopping the 1,000,000 footballers he inherited. If he wins a trophy and secures top five, surely he gets the opportunity to have another go ‘round next season with this young and evolving squad.

The Race for Europe Is Going Down to the Wire 📊

Arsenal 1-2 Bournemouth

Never rest against the relentless Golden War Cherries, baby! This 2-1 defeat of Mikel Arteta’s team, who clearly had side-eyes eyes on Paris, will go down in history as not only their first-ever away win at Arsenal, but perhaps more crucially as the momentum-shift in their hunt for a first-ever experience on the continent. Bournemouth are now firmly in eighth place, which would secure European football next season, as well as Andoni Iraola’s mayorship of the South Coast town. Arteta will wonder how his team went up via the undeniable Declan Rice before collapsing into a heap thanks to two set pieces finished by Dean Huijsen and Evanilson. With trips to Paris and Liverpool this week, and City somehow now grasping for their second-place spot, it’s time for the Gunners to decide what kind of ending to their their season they want to have.

Manchester City 1-0 Wolves

Orson Welles said, “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story,” and although the Kevin De Bruyne farewell tour doesn’t encapsulate his trophy-laden Manchester City career, crucial goals in narrow wins like this feel appropriate. Wolves were at City’s door for much of the first half, still playing like a changed team since being emboldened by pint-man Vítor Pereira, but even at a quiet Etihad, missed chances will be punished. United-bound Cunha shone, hitting the post from distance, but De Bruyne’s nonchalant finish showed he’s not ready for an MLS retirement home yet, and whoever he plays for next will benefit from his undying class.

Brighton 1-1 Newcastle

With the League Cup already secured and his team currently sitting in fourth, Eddie Howe is on track to complete one of the greatest ever seasons in Newcastle’s history, but a draw at Brighton was a bit of a misstep. It could have been worse, but thankfully for Howe, Alexander Isak’s late penalty kept them in contention with his 23rd league goal of the season. Fellow Champions League-chasers, Chelsea, Villa, and City continue to win, and so the Magpies’ showdown with Enzo Maresca’s men this Sunday could be their season-defining moment.

Aston Villa 1-0 Fulham

Aston Villa fans no longer get to cancel midweek plans to max out their credit cards for European tours, and there will be no two-hour trips down the motorway to Wembley for an FA Cup final, in what’s been a truly impressive season for Unai Emery’s team that just ran out of gas too soon. But thanks to Youri Tielemans’ header in a Villa performance that deserved more goals (if only they had someone like Marcus Rashford playing), the boys from Birmingham have a tangible chance of resuming those epic European trips next season in the Champions League.

And Now, Rog’s Super Chill Thoughts on WTF Happened to Everton this Weekend 💙 

Everton 2-2 Ipswich Town

Rog writes: The last ever three o’clock kick-off at Goodison Park. The game itself was the undercard to the celebration that came before it. The sun was out, emotions were high. I ran into so many Everton club staff I know, just walking around outside the stadium soaking in the atmosphere before the start. The tifo pageantry was beautiful. The banners on the Gwladys Street were a reflection of the history of the club, and the passion of the fans who have saved it over the last 10 years. I found it all so stirring.  

The game itself was forgettable bar Beto’s goal, gent always score when I am there, and Dwight McNeil’s air-bender. The Enciso wonder for Ipwsich was so potent that even Jordan Pickford dapped the goal scorer up after conceding. After the game, I happened to be standing by a house near Goodison that serves as an impromptu boozer. Liam Delap was brave enough to enter when coaxed in to sign their famous wall, which has been signed by so many Everton greats before him. It was such a surreally-glorious scene to film, as tabloid transfer rumors connect him to the club, and the first time I wondered if it is the only thing he will sign at Everton this summer…

Elsewhere in the Premier League: Brentford 4-3 Manchester United, West Ham 1-1 Tottenham, Leicester City 2-0 Southampton

True Chaos in the Final Day of the Championship 🤯

Unsurprisingly, that was not a quiet weekend at the library! Leeds were confirmed as Champions, meaning JJ Watt’s Burnley finished second with both Northern teams returning to the Premier League. More Northerners in Sunderland and Sheffield United were already confirmed in the play-off places and they’ll be joined by Bristol City and Frank Lampard’s Coventry – City host the Blades this Thursday and Coventry take on Sunderland on Friday, with the second legs happening early next week. Cardiff City’s relegation was confirmed before the weekend and Plymouth, as expected, joined them. Six teams were breathlessly battling to avoid that final League One spot and it was Luton Town who sadly secured a second-consecutive relegation with last season’s Premier League love story now feeling like a hallucination.

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Some Absolute Weekend Worldies 🚀 🥅

There were a lot of great goals this weekend, but these three get top marks:

On the Continent 🇪🇺

🇩🇪 Bundesliga: Only the most bitter Arsenal fan will begrudge Harry Kane reaching his summit by winning the Bundesliga title this weekend as the league’s top goalscorer. The England captain has a dusty cupboard of silver medals that he can now throw in the trash, in the hope that this accomplishment and the ridiculous figures he’s achieved in Munich, can permanently lift the “Spursy” curse and be the springboard for more silverware at club and international level in the years to come. Meanwhile, fifth-place Borussia Dortmund continued their incline since parting ways with former player and manager, Nuri Şahin, beating Wolfsburg 4-0, and their imperious form finds them back in Champions League contention, just a point behind Freiburg in fourth.

La Liga 🇪🇸: Battle-worn Barcelona and Real Madrid stumble on with narrow victories against teams who on paper they should beat convincingly, but that has been the nature of this moody La Liga season. In the scoring charts, Kylian Mbappe pulled himself just a goal behind Barca’s Peter Pan, Robert Lewandowski, but his first season will be considered a failure by Madridstas unless he gets his hands on a trophy, which is looking less and less likely, with four games left and four points dividing Reino de España’s two historical beasts. 

Serie A 🇮🇹: Europe’s most compelling top-tier title race has been in Italy, where Napoli and Inter Milan have gone all Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd by trading places at the top of the table throughout the season. Both won 1-0 this weekend, which is so beautifully Italian, and props must go to Inzaghi’s Inter for remaining three points behind Conte’s Neapolitans, between dates in Europe with Barcelona. Captain America, Christian Pulisic, and his AC Milan side, play Genoa tonight, and given the Pennsylvanian's current form, that’s worth keeping an eye on. In other local USMNT news, Weston McKennie is set to stay at Juventus and become one of the highest earners at the club.

Mid-Week Matches Worth Faking a Meeting for 📺 

Premier League 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Crystal Palace vs. Nottingham Forest (TODAY, 3 p.m. ET, USA)

Although Palace will still be present for this Monday matchup, there is a danger of them being distant with destiny awaiting them at Wembley for an FA Cup final in a few weeks. Nuno Espírito Santo’s Nottingham Forest side will be hurt by their defeat at the hands of Brentford last week, but even though they’re sixth, a win takes them a point behind City in third.

Champions League Semi-Finals - Second Leg 🏆

Inter Milan vs. Barcelona (3-3 on aggregate) - Tuesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+

Both of these heavyweights finished in the top four of the Champions League’s inaugural league table, and despite the first-leg classic playing like a localized Puskás Award competition, a 3-3 draw means we’re basically starting from scratch here. Inter have the columns of their San Siro home surrounding them, and although that advantage is meaningful, in Yamal, Raphina, and Lewandowski, Barcelona have a front three as forceful and cohesive as Luke, Leia, and Han Solo. Let’s just hope for another tsunami of worldies. 

PSG vs. Arsenal (PSG lead the tie 1-0) - Wednesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+

Ernest Hemingway wrote much of The Sun Also Rises nine kilometers from the Parc des Princes, where PSG will be charging like bulls at the red shirts of Arsenal. This is Mikel Arteta's opportunity to pen his own classic, the defining masterpiece of his North London novel against a PSG side who are less glamorous but more effective than previous incarnations. They start this second leg with one hand tied behind their back, thanks to Ousmane Dembélé’s goal at the Emirates last week, but any side with Declan Rice and Bakayo Saka lining up for them ought to dream.

Europa League Semi-Finals - Second Leg 🇪🇺

Manchester United vs. Athletic Bilbao (3-0 on agg.) - Thursday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+

Ruben Amorim’s Manchester United party exclusively on weeknights, remaining the only undefeated side in European competition this season, after beating the best defense in Spain 3-0 last week. Athletic Bilbao are still aggrieved about Dani Vivian’s VAR-assisted red card for pulling down Rasmus Højlund in the six-yard box at the Estadio de San Mamés, perhaps because they wouldn’t consider it the denial of a goalscoring opportunity given the player in question. Luckily, Bruno Fernandes was on hand to explain the rules of football to Spanish journalists with the greatest human manifestation of this 😏 ever seen. Old Trafford will be raucous on Thursday, but composure must prevail on the pitch for United to return to Bilbao for their first European final since 2017.  

Bodø/Glimt vs. Tottenham Hotspurs (1-3 on agg.) - Thursday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+

Ange Postecoglou has the higher ground here, but that fabled astroturf pitch above the arctic circle in Norway, and a potential injury to string-puller James Maddison, along with a late Bodø/Glimt goal that perforated celebrations at the Tottenham Hotspur stadium, leaves room for doubt. Sir Alex Ferguson once inspired his Man United to hurdle a 3-0 halftime deficit with the simple words, “Lads, it’s Tottenham,” and although it’s unlikely Bodø/Glimt’s gaffer, Kjetil Knutsen, will employ the same team talk, at the tie’s half-time point, nothing is guaranteed and Bødo will believe.

Some Non-Football to Start the Week Off Right 📖

• Snap. Crack. Stroke. Turns out having strangers crack your neck may not be great for you. Who knew?

• Straight from the hors d'oeuvres' mouth: Ina Garten actually serves guests three store-bought foods — and you should too. 

• Public Space Has Become Earbud Space. Turns out the only thing most New Yorkers can agree on is not wanting to listen to each other once they leave the house.

• A Player Has Defeated Punch-Out’s Mike Tyson in Under Two Minutes for the First Time. Remember, not all heroes wear capes.

• This is an American football team’s crest. And it is magnificent. Behold, Atletico Dallas.

It’s MiB Trivia Time 🤔

Roll up, roll up, it’s trivia time!

This week’s question: Bruno Fernandes’ two goals against Athletic Bilbao put him clear of Romelu Lukaku as the Europa League’s third-top goalscorer of all time. Who is top of that scoring chart and bonus patch for the amount of goals that player has in the competition.

Send your answers to [email protected] to win a coveted MiB patch!

Last week’s answer: In the words of trigger-switch quick, Christian Stilp, who was bang on with his answer: The PL team to win the league with the most matches to spare was Klopp's Liverpool in the 2019-2020 season. Amusingly, given the interruption due to the COVID shutdown, it was simultaneously the earliest (by number of matches remaining) and the latest (by the calendar) that a team clinched the league.

We didn’t even clock the second fact ourselves! Bonus points and a patch in the post for you, Christian 🚚👏