USMNT's Nightmare Loss to Panama 🇺🇸🇵🇦

I type with fingers reeling in shock and agony, after a night of self-destructive failure. And no. I am not talking about the Presidential Debate. The United States Men self-immolated in a 2-1 defeat to 54th in the world-ranked Panama. WE LOST TO A VAN HALEN SONG. How did Gregg Berhalter not see this dawgfight coming? This Copa is the bastard offspring of CONMEBOL mating with CONCACAF. Each game is a knifefight played by prison rules. Eighty-seven minutes of Shithousery with three minutes of football mixed in. The United States were not tactically or mentally prepared, and the result was shocking. A historic night for a well-coached Panama, who lulled us into a trap which we willingly, headlessley, naively flung ourselves into, with zero composure, and are now looking at Monday night’s game against 15-time Copa winner Uruguay – the most fearsome of all the ‘Guays – to avoid the damning humiliation of being Grouped. 

More, much more below in this newsletter, as well as reactions to England, the Euros big stories, and Alex Morgan not making the Olympic squad. Here is what I want to know: Why can Georgia have nice things? Slovakia? Slovenia? Iceland, Wales and Morocco in previous tournaments. And never us? Why?

📺 WATCH THIS: You can watch my instant reaction to a night of suffering and pain with the quite remarkable Larry Nance Jr. here. 🇺🇸😢

ii. The Euros knockout rounds are poised to begin. This German Saxophone-soundtracked tournament has been a dazzling spectacle. Yet, because of the third place qualifiers, it has unfurled its magic with little jeopardy. The wide open waters of knockout football are a different beast. Football played on a high wire, propelled by teams able to survive and advance in epic, individual moments. The only thing that is certain is this: Group stage teams who impressed can be gone in the blink of an eye. Teams play themselves into form, game to game. Football always has a way of making a fool out of all of us. 

iii. The FC to Shining Sea Tour is in full swing. 🍻🇺🇸

a. THIS SUNDAY June 30th we’re in Kansas City where we’ll be joined by Sporting KC legend Matt Besler and KC local and superfan Eric Stonestreet. Don't miss the talk of football, Kansas City, and burnt ends. 

b. On Tuesday July 9 we’re in The Queen City – Charlotte, North Carolina the night before the Copa America semi-final at Bank of America Stadium. Sam Mewis is coming with me, as well as Dean Smith, whom I love, and Carolina Panthers DE Derrick Brown. We want to celebrate the team, your city, and this summer o' soccer with you. GET YOUR TICKETS 🇺🇸

c. NEW YORK CITY: Save the Date. Sam Mewis and I will be hosting a Town Hall Q&A on Monday July 8 at Rocco's Sports & Recreation on W 3rd St. We want to hear your questions on the summer so far, what the Olympics look like for our US Women and U-23 (and Walker Zimmerman) Men, and look towards the 2024/25 seasons which are – incredibly – almost here.

iv. I spent the week traveling the nation meeting American fans in Washington, D.C. (where I filmed with Champions League-winning Jonatan Giráldez, who has just left Barcelona to join Trinity Rodman and the Spirit (interview dropping Monday on The Women’s Game) and Atlanta, where I met with US fans who had traveled from across the United States to watch our boys. Much love to every one of you who had the misfortune to raise a beer with me. I am blown away by each and every one of you and the depth of your passion and joy, yearning and commitment that you all display. May we live our dreams out in our lifetimes. 

2. USMNT 1 Panama 2. Yes. This Nightmare Really Happened 🇺🇸🇵🇦

Ninety minutes of pure, uncut, Kung Fu Fighting, that was a devastating spectacle for all who care about this team, and the future of the game in this nation. Two teams entered the Copathunderdome. One team left. At the final whistle, our US boys were cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor like Natalie Imbruglia. A game of dark-arts action and counter-reaction in which Gregg Berhalter and his players were always a step behind. 

Panama was canny. They knew they lacked the quality playerwise and could never match up toe-to-toe. So they dragged us towards a maze of confusion, pain and hurt, and we hurtled in, headlessley, naively, to our doom. The definitive moment was Cesar Blackman’s unpunished cheapshot on an exposed, vulnerable Matt Turner which was a premeditated attempt to test us and see if we could be thrown off our gameplan. Tim Weah took the bait. Our boys always pride themselves on being a “Band of Brothers.” Other teams have wised up to the flip side to that, as we have seen on a number of occasions: we are so easy to rattle. A red card - at a level of stupidity known only to Sergino Dest ensued. And the United States were suddenly down to 10 men for over 70 minutes. 

We know what happened next because we had to live it out in agony. Balogun scored a wonder goal, struck with the power of a man hellbent on seeking vengeance for his nation at the expense of Mariano Rivera and Roberto Duran. Panama responded almost immediately, then took us all into a World of Pain. This was Fist of Fury/House of Flying Daggers fare. Elbows were thrown. Shirts pulled. Brexit tackles everywhere. A battle for survival, and the US boys suffered in that second half as Cameron Carter-Vickers floundered recklessly, and poor Dr. Joe had to work overtime. 

Watching along at home, as Panama took the lead, I experienced the delta between our hopes and dreams, and the floundering performance we witnessed, and it was painful. This fight or flight reality which felt like a punctured lung. Set pieces became our only chance. The US heads were gone. The game was gone. To explain how we got here is to understand just how much we did it to ourselves. And there lies the hurt. In this summer of footballing joy, the United States has given us so little. 

ii. Huge credit to Panama. Population 4.3 million or roughly the same as Oregon. Just their third win all-time against the U.S. in 27 games. Their game plan was simple and self-aware. They knew they were a lesser team, so they attempted to throw us mentally off, hoping we would lose our heads and lose the match. We did. We got played. We got sucked into a whole world of torment and agony. 🇵🇦

iii. What now for the United States? Uruguay smashed Bolivia 5-0 last night. We now must beat Marcelo Bielsa’s Uruguay in Arrowhead Stadium and hope for goal difference or else we will suffer the humiliation of being Grouped which would be so demoralizing. Even Lalas is now knives-out on Gregg Berhalter. The truth is, the goal in this tournament remains the same. We said from the beginning, the US Men’s program needs a marquee win against a true powerhouse opponent. We believed that it would be Brazil or Colombia in the Quarter-Final. That game has just come one desperate matchday early. We are about to find out our truth. We are also about to find out how serious US Soccer is about the American Future. 

b. We asked you to give this US Men’s National Team a new nickname as we charge towards the big one on home soil. You came up with “The Gen Zeagles.” Our boys are growing up together. As we head towards Monday night's epic clash, we pray their future is in their hands. We have an ALL NEW COLLECTION HERE celebrating our nation, this summer, and the football on our shores. Cue Eagle Screech… 🦅🦅🦅

3. Euros is about to get Serious. Not you England. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

What a tournament. A Copa das Copas. Cenk Tosun’s 94th minute winner for Turkey was the 10th stoppage-time goal of the group phase in Germany, a record for the Euros with 15 more games still to play in the knockout rounds. We are watching an extraordinarily ecstatic tournament play out with so many minor teams soaring. Georgia, Slovenia and Slovakia all feel dangerous. Everyone is looking great apart from England who face Slovakia (Sunday, 12 p.m. ET, Fox Proper) 

The good news for England, they topped the group and are in the lightweight side of the draw. Still as we hurtle towards the knockout rounds, a nation holds its breath. How will stubborn old piñata Gareth Southgate make changes and learn the most dominant lesson of international tournament play: The best players do not make the best team, as a collective. The thing that would worry me if I cared about England is Gareth still saying, “your best players are your best players.” It does not work like that because football is not an individual game. The international level is all about developing a system around your best players, or selecting the best individuals to fit your system. Southgate is trying to jam the best players into his system and it is turgid. Even more frustrating that with Kobbie Mainoo, Cole Palmer, Anthony Gordon available, solutions abound. 🇸🇰

ii. By the way. I do love the idea we came up with on the show with Brendan Hunt after the Slovenia game last week: England winning this tournament, and English fans hating every game. Even the final, which would possibly be the most English thing of all-time.

iii. This Weekend in Euros

a. Switzerland vs. Italy (Saturday, 12 p.m. ET, FS1/Fubo) 🇨🇭🇮🇹

Unbeaten Switzerland take on the defending champions in the capital after the Italians last gasp draw against Croatia on Monday saw them narrowly advance out of Group B. The good news for the Swiss: they have lost only once in their last 13 European Championship matches. The bad news: That loss? A 3-0 walloping against Italy at Euro 2020. 

b. Germany vs. Denmark (Saturday, 3 p.m. ET, Fox) 🇩🇪🇩🇰

Hosts Germany are heavy favorites to beat Denmark Saturday after easily progressing out of Group A. Manager Julian Nagelsman has named an unchanged lineup for the Germans first three games, but will be without at least one of his center-backs for this round, with Bayer Leverkusen star Jonathan Tah out with suspension and Real Madrid’s Antonio Rudiger questionable due to a hamstring injury. 

c. Georgia vs. Spain (Sunday, 3 p.m. ET, Fox) 🇬🇪🇪🇸

After the inevitable slog of watching England at noon, the scheduling gods have blessed us with what is likely to be the most entertaining match of the weekend: Tournament newcomers Georgia progressed out of Group F as one of the highest scoring third-placed teams, while three-times Euro winners Spain, propelled by Nico Williams and Lamine Yamal, dominated Group B winning all of their group stage matches. After the Georgians stunned 2020 winners Portugal Wednesday with a 2-0 win, anything is possible when the two sides meet in Cologne. 

More: The secret behind Georgia’s thrilling Euro 2024 ride – and why Spain must beware.

It’s time for EURO 2024 knockouts, predict how the knockout stage will unfold and crown your overall winners. Pick the winner in each tie to build your perfect EURO 2024 bracket.  

4. Good Reads on the Euros

i. On the Uber Fame of Cristiano Ronaldo.

ii. Why young players are dominating the Euros in unprecedented numbers – it has to do with the dominance of pressing football.

iii. Austria are everything England are not and ever have been. Good read from an American POV too.

PrizePicks: Best PP since Peter Parker

Charlie Kipp writes: Like Mike Tyson vs Marvis Frazier in 1986, it’s knockout season, folks. While at this point we can only hope (pray?) that the USMNT has a chance to even compete in knockout football, it has certainly arrived in Europe where the Round of 16 is fully set at Euro 2024. We’ll have compelling matchups galore, enough to keep us all distracted through the doldrums of midsummer workdays. And what better way to make those daytime eye-diversions even better than by upping the ante with a PrizePicks entry. Look, fun as it may be to tell Ashley in Accounting that you have a “hunch” - it’s even better to cash in on your knowledge with a pick of your own. A tip? Gianluigi Donnarumma MORE than 2.5 Saves vs. Switzerland.

While the Packers went back-to-back with generational quarterbacks, the Italians seem to have matched, and possibly exceeded, that feat in the goalkeeping department. What’s better than one best-in-the-world keeper named Gianluigi? Another one! Buffon’s successor, 25 year old Gianluigi Donnarumma, has more than adequately filled the gloves for the Azzurri - highlighted by his performance in the 2021 Euro Finals in the infamous shootout victory over England. He has the experience needed to deliver the goods when it matters most, like, say, this Saturday in Italy’s R16 matchup vs. Switzerland. I feel confident in Donnarumma neutralizing the Swiss attack - let’s just hope they can break down the catenaccio and get enough shots for us to find a winner on our pick: Gianluigi Donnarumma MORE than 2.5 Saves vs. Switzerland.

If you haven’t joined PrizePicks, CLICK HERE and use code MiB for a first deposit match up to $100.

5. Copa Cabana 🏆

i. Colombia take on Costa Rica in Phoenix at 6 p.m. ET tonight (FS1) (expected temp. 100+ degrees 🥵) followed by Paraguay vs. Brazil at 9 p.m. ET in Vegas (FS1) (where it’ll only be 90+ degrees 🫠). Pack your sunscreen and extra water. 

ii. Saturday night’s action includes reigning champs Argentina vs. Must-Win Peru. With Argentina already guaranteed a spot in the next round, Manager Lionel Scaloni will likely rest Lionel Messi after the captain complained of adductor pain in the team’s last match against Chile. (8 p.m. ET, FS1). 🇦🇷🇵🇪

iii. Meanwhile in Orlando, Chile and Canada face off in their FIRST EVER competitive match. Jesse Marsch’s Canada has their fate in their own hands, a win would see them through to the knockout stages. Their opponents Chile will hope for a win and a positive result for Argentina to avoid failing to advance from the group stage for the first time since 2004. (8 p.m. ET, FS2) 🇨🇱🇨🇦. P.S. I love Jacob Shaffelburg.

iv. Sunday night El Tri take on Ecuador to decide which side will join group leaders Venezuela in the next round. Ecuador’s positive goal difference means they go through with a win or a draw, while generationally disappointing Mexico will need all three points to make it out of the group. (8 p.m. ET, FOX). 🇲🇽🇪🇨

v. In Austin, the stakes are much lower between group leaders Venezuela and a Jamaica side who were eliminated Wednesday after Venezuela’s win against Mexico. Venezuela can secure an easier opponent for the next round with a draw, while Michail Antonio’s Jamaica will be playing for pride as their first ever COPA America appearance comes to an early end. (8 p.m. ET, FS1). 🇻🇪🇯🇲

6. USWNT say farewell to Alex Morgan 👑🇺🇸

Alex Morgan has been left off Emma Hayes' USWNT Olympics roster and will miss her first international tournament since 2008. First of all, congratulations to Jaedyn Shaw, defender Jenna Nighswonger, the incredible Sam Coffey, and also, the extremely complicated Korbin Albert – Lalas’s GOAT women’s player – who will enter their first major world tournament. Yet, I feel for Morgan being cut, age 34, after 224 caps. She is undoubtedly not the player she is in our imaginations, and has not been for some time. But she is the commercial juggernaut and has been the face of this team for the last decade and so this moment is an enormous one on so many levels. Make no mistake, this is Emma Hayes’ team now. Indeed, if you think it through, if Emma had taken Alex and not played her, it would create a massive distraction for the media if they did not get off to a winning start. But I ache for Alex. She is such a competitor. Being a US International has been the core of her identity and her brand. This is a pivotal moment for U.S. Soccer. A pivotal moment for the game in the United States, but also a deeply personal one for a player who has given our nation so many of its highest-profile moments. I send her love and strength in this moment, and wishes for all the goals to come. 

More: Why Alex Morgan was left off the roster.

ii. This week in NWSL

After an EVENTFUL week in the NWSL news cycle (👀 Should The San Diego Wave Have Parted Ways With Casey Stoney?  👀), the on field action returns tonight. The KC Current and the Orlando Pride remain unbeaten more than halfway through the season, even on 32 points at the top of the table. The Current will defend their number one spot tonight at 8 p.m. ET (Prime Video) as they host the Houston Dash at the CPKC Stadium. Orlando Pride will have their opportunity to answer Sunday as they close out the weekend against Angel City (7.30 p.m. ET, Paramount +).

7. Not Football, and All the Better For It

i. 2023 Hasselblad Masters Winners Show the Best in Fine Art Photography. The train photos!!!

ii. An interview with the woman spending the next three months biking around the world. My knee made a weird clicking sound just scrolling through this.

iii. Adding all to cart: EIGHT TRANSFORMATIVE SUMMER READS.

iv. "Will you be my friend? It had boxes that said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and a drawing of a penis. Of course I accepted." ‘She is my soulmate. I’d do anything for her’: readers on their best friends.

v. Winter of Content. 59 Emmy wins, countless jobs created.

vi. Loved this from Adam Smyth at LitHub: How a Small Press Poetry Contest Launched Samuel Beckett’s Career.

vii. Gen Z and Millennials are fighting over...sock height. This is why I wear one no-show and one sock stretched to mid-thigh. Gotta keep them guessing.

viii. "I am the Che Guevara of Dental Appliances." Swallowing: I Was Mike Mew’s Patient.

ix. The greatest invention since the napkin (allegedly): ”Uh-Oh: A story of SpaghettiOs and forgotten history.

x. Huge in Palm Springs: An unlikely statue has become a rich-person controversy for the ages. This is what prolonged exposure to 100+ degree heat will do to a person. 

xi. 22 of the Best Pizza Places in the United States. You'll get ‘em next year Poopsie's! 

Finally, I lost a friend this week, far too young. Rob Stone was just 55. He was a lover and fighter. Rob was a very inspiring man. He moved two blocks away from me during the pandemic, and it was the joy of my life to have that slice of pure uncut Manhattan living right by me. He was the kind of person who believed in me early, before I even believed in myself. I bet a thousand people who encountered him are saying that this week. Here is what is important to know: Rob kept his cancer diagnosis private and decided to focus on his work and family. I am telling this to you today because his passing is a reminder to all of us, as if we needed it, that… you never know what someone else is going through. What they are grappling with. We only see a tiny glimpse into people’s lives. So treat them with love and kindness, and empathy. To Rob. May his memory be a blessing, and to better days ahead for all. 

Big Love,

Courage,

Go! Go! USA!

ROG